Dear Christine,
Concerning the advice given to leave married men alone, let me say that I was involved with a married man for over nine months.
At the time, his wife was overseas, so we were free to roam. Sometimes, he would take me out with another individual to avoid things looking too obvious. Would you believe that the said friend gossiped all over the place about me?
This man treated me well and taught me quite a lot in that time. I sometimes dressed in a very distasteful manner, and many times I had to change my attire because he was embarrassed. Many people look up to this man, especially for advice.
Whenever we had sex, he would insist on using a condom, but I told him I was allergic to rubbers. The other married man [I was also involved with] said the condoms squeezed him, while the ex-boyfriend I was also seeing couldn’t care less. He was the one who gave me herpes.
I refused to tell them I had herpes and would sometimes break out in a painful sore in the genital area. This particular married man made me engage in some painful anal sex which he stated he couldn’t carry to his wife.
At times, I secretly slept at his house, but he would make me hide in the trunk of the car whenever I was going into his neighbourhood. I started to steal some of the wife’s things and deliberately dropped underwear behind his bed hoping she would see it.
Christine, this man promised he would never leave me, but he never discussed his wife with me. Personally, I think he only wanted me for sex and I gave it. I allowed him to do everything, all the while destroying my body.
I became pregnant during that time, but honestly, I was not sure who the father was. I was seeing the other married man and the lowlife ex-boyfriend too. When I told this guy I was pregnant, he told me he had a vasectomy. When I told the other one, he advised me to “get rid of it” which I did – because he promised me a second car. I never got the car.
I used to swear a lot and he told me I was common and brawling, quite the opposite to his wife. Yet, he continued to use me. I was a fool all along.
It has been over two months since his wife returned. Apparently, someone told her he was having an affair. Can you imagine he told me he does not want to lose everything he worked hard for and especially his wife?
I am phoning his wife but she would not talk to me. I wanted to tell her everything that went on, describe her bedroom and all the photographs to convince her I was there. Can you believe he had already told her he brought me there to clean the house and I was throwing myself at him? Bajan men are born liars, with no respect for women.
Recently, he passed me in the rain and avoided me like the plague. I was with my son, whom he said he loved. That day, my son was having an asthma attack.
A friend recently told me this man is planning to renew his marriage vows in a few days.
My warning to women out there who feel smart when they are involved with people’s husbands is to desist from such involvement. These men don’t want us as their wives. We just provide pure, adulterated sex.
Right now, though, I am getting some satisfaction knowing these men could have contracted herpes from me and given it to the very wives they don’t want to lose. I know all hell will break loose then.
– S.H.
Dear S.H.,
Judging by your email, you are not from Barbados, but I have decided to print your letter and allow readers to share their views.
This letter is an indication of the sick, wicked minds that exist. You are no different from these men you are bashing.
At the end of the day, you must both live with your consciences. Sadly, innocent lives are paying for your selfish actions.
– CHRISTINE
