According to the Guiness Book Of Records, Chilli is the biggest bull in the world. He is six and a half feet tall and weighs one and a quarter tons.
I disagree. The biggest bull in the world is the nonsense that “change is inevitable”, usually attributed to the 1st Earl of Beaconsfield Ben Disraeli. Actually Dizzy said that “in a progressive country . . . change is inevitable”, which is a different kettle of fish.
“Progressive” in that context usually means driven by dog-eat-dog capitalism.
I favour positive change. It’s easier to write a column on a computer than on an old manual typewriter. The cellphone saves many trips if I can contact the wife to buy urgent stuff.
What I can’t abide is change for change’s sake, where the second “change” refers to the cash going into manufacturers’ coffers by making current merchandise obsolete.
Too much of today’s change is totally unnecessary. For example, in the late 1960s a former colleague Dr Brian Eavis introduced the Stanhay seed planter to Barbados. This revolutionised vegetable growing as whole fields could be planted quickly and accurately.
I held the Stanhay agency for over 40 years. Unbelievable but true, some of the original planters are still in operation. Even more unbelievable, all the major parts for today’s machines still fit the original planters.
In other words, it is entirely possible to make a machine to last over time. But “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” wouldn’t put money in manufacturers’ pockets.
Contrast my Froment standby generator, which needs a contactor relay. A dairy farm standby generator may cost upwards of $20 000, but may be used only once or twice a year. Froment, who brag of having the “best technical support in Europe”, say they keep no records for generators over 15 years old. And won’t even identify the part so I can source a replacement.
In other words, buy a new generator.
The BBC theme song Lilliburlero, which Talla Lalla used to introduce the news in the 1940s and which my father heard on our big Philips radio at Vaucluse is still performing the same function.
BBC stuck with tradition.
Sad to say, Starcom doesn’t seem interested in maintaining a successful status quo. To make way for some Caribbean entity, they have bastardized VOB 92.9 and demolished their popular gospel station. Deprived of her beloved Ken Husbands’ music at night, my wife has shifted to CBC’s Q 100.7FM.
I’m sorry, but I am a cou cou man. As Gabby noted when a Canadian-flavoured damsel became our beauty queen, “Miss Barbados don’t know ’bout flying fish . . . ”. The CSS announcers may be competent, but they don’t speak my language.
Change for the sake of change. Let’s hope no one ever messes with the time-honoured recipe for cou cou.
But today I want to talk transport. A good friend who knows about such things is forever wishing he could buy a brand new 1988 motor car. In his opinion, that’s about when cars started to decline.
Others put it much further back. A 1959 Mad Magazine “poll” allegedly asked motorists what features they hated about the then modern cars.
When engineers eliminated these features to design America’s Dream Car, they came up with an exact replica of, you guessed it, Henry Ford’s 1908 Model T.
What grinds me is that Debbie Simpson and other agents accept useless, backward changes in new vehicles – power windows, computers, fully-loaded junk – apparently without a word of protest. My 1990 Mitsubishi pickup, for instance, routinely totes 30 bales of hay. New Sporteros struggle to fit on ten.
Well, I’ve done my research and come up with my ideal SUV: four-wheel drive; affordable price; rust-free; long working life (18 years average); no computers or power windows; fully un-loaded; uses “green”, environmentally-friendly fuels. Moreover, it kicks butt like no other!
I still have to work out the import details and source a dealer. But, if God spares life, look out in the not too distant future for Lowdown on a mule.