Want to hear the classy of all classies?
In talking to a teacher the other day about Vybz and other vibes, she never once opted to take out the inhaler from her nose. No, she is not asthmatic; and for clarification, I’m talking about those little white inhalers by Vicks, Pax and Olbas.
From then on, I started noticing that Barbados perhaps has the highest number of inhaler-in-nose-walk-abouters per capita. Going to the supermarket,
I see a pot-bellied man with arms akimbo, casually carrying on a conversation by the produce section, inhaler stuck comfortably in nostril.
Standing in line at the bank, the young man two places in front is jiving to music on his headphones, connected to the cell. The inhaler moves rhythmically up and down as his head bounces to the beat.
Maybe it is my lack of emotional fortitude, or the curiosity so ingrained in me, like a big cat. So, I visited the Esso down in Paynes Bay and made a purchase.
I bought an inhaler.
Since then, I can’t seem to get enough of it. Of course, I am not as bold as my inhaling counterparts, so I do it behind closed doors. While reading and smiling and sending good vibes to all the centenarians in the paper over the past two weeks, my inhaler was switched from nostril to nostril.
While wondering if I should help the honourable minister produce more progeny, I was sniffing and contemplating. And then it happened: I no longer needed my hands. The inhaler was lodged safely in a wedge of nasal passage that was the most correct crevice; as if it had finally found its right resting place.
Now that I’ve let you in on my new-found fetish, allow me to share with you the conversation with the teacher on Vybz Kartel. Coincidentally, Vybz calls himself, “D Teacher”.
Teacher (not Vybz, but a ma’am from St Michael): You think he should really get so much time, though? That is more years than I born.”
Me: Well, at the end of the day, is according to what the system decides.
Teacher: I hope de people buss a bullet in dem so.
Is because he black and he have too much influence, so the ‘powers dat be’ trying to silence him. I tell my children so when they ask me in class what I think, too.
I was beginning to wonder if she was inhaling something other than menthol from that inhaler.
First of all, I thought Vybz was white, since he almost bleached himself into invisibility; and secondly, I couldn’t really question her, since “cracking heads” and “bussing bullets” usually lead to the same end: death of a person.
Her comments scared me like a night when I dreamt about Ronnie Clarke naked, singing at Pic-O-De-Crop Finals. I couldn’t sleep after that.
The teacher’s remarks made me think about what we as adults disseminate to our children – hate and negativity, or love and positive vibes?
Veoma Ali is an author, actor, broadcaster, advertising exec and most importantly, a karaoke lover.
