Dear Christine,
Up until about three years ago I was what you would consider a happily married man – or so I thought. That was until I discovered that my wife started seeing a very prominent married businessman whom she met in her line of work.
Christine, my wife not only started seeing this guy and travelling with him, but has taken our seven-year-old daughter on at least two trips. I have been told that they have lunch regularly together and that they also visit some local hotels. I am also aware that this man has given her numerous gifts, which she has denied receiving from him. Her answers when questioned about the gifts are that she either purchased them at a sale, or she saved her money to purchase what she wanted.
I know this will sound stupid to some readers, but I love my wife and want our marriage to work. We do not have heated quarrels about her infidelity, but the strain it is putting on me is not one I can bear much longer. I have always been taught to treat women well and I’ve lived up to that teaching. However, I cannot take much more of this.
I have contemplated approaching this man’s wife about the situation, but have been advised by a good friend that it would not be in my best interest to do so. I am therefore asking for your advice. What should I do?
– BP
Dear BP,
For the past three years [and that is a long time] your wife has been living a lie and you have been affected by her infidelity. Stop being so passive about the situation. As long as you have the proof that your wife is cheating on you, present her with a non-negotiable. For the sake of your marriage and your family, she must be willing to sever this relationship, receive some kind of counselling and work on straightening out the marriage.
Telling this man’s wife about the relationship may be your way of “chickening out”, so to speak, without having to deal with your “own issues” at home and how they are affecting your marriage.
If your wife continues in the relationship, you should also see an attorney at law who will educate you on your rights and responsibilities in the event that you choose to end the marriage.
– CHRISTINE
