Dear Christine,MY WIFE AND I have been married to for almost six years and living quite happily with our kids.We have been experiencing some problems in our marriage for about a year-and-a-half now and I was believing that it was related to my work schedule. Now I have discovered that the problem started when she and a male workmate of hers started working in the same office.Now, my wife was a very reserved person and would never get into any person’s vehicle until they started working together. She and this man have been seen shopping together. It is known he goes to her mother’s house when she is there.I have spoken to her on this matter on many occasions but she insists that he is only a friend. He also has her cellphone number and our home number.Whenever I speak to her on this matter, she gets very annoyed and claims that I am trying to control her.I have told her that if she continues to behave the way she is behaving I would have to apply for a divorce to which she replied that I don’t want her to have any friends. Christine, this is not so. It is just that I know the man. He is separated from his wife and that he is a “player”. I have seen him in action.Counselling is out of the question because she has refused and told me that the problem is mine and not hers . . . Christine, I am seriously considering divorcing her but I do love her.– WORRIED.Dear Worried,The ideal thing would be that both of you attend counselling, but if your wife wouldn’t go, you go.Let me say from the beginning that I don’t believe your complaint stems from petty jealousy. I can understand these two being in a shop together – but visiting her mother’s home when she is there and having her telephone numbers is asking too much for you to accept.However much she would like you to consider this as innocent friendship I sense a gathering closeness which can only hurt your marriage. Surely your wife would not want you to be as close as she is with a “friend” who is female.It is totally unreasonable to expect you to accept the situation.– CHRISTINE.
