In all my born days, I en know de las’ time I remember de atmosphere in Buhbayduss to be so onsettlin. Mos’ o’ we in de Turnin’ cyhan onderstan’ wuh gine on; dis en de Buhbayduss we ’custom to, an’ it startin’ to mek we feel oneasy. I tryin’ hard not to leh stress tek over, but de way t’ings gine nowadays, at night I cyhan help but sleep wid one eye open – jes’ in case. I en got money like de “big-ups” to put ’nough wrought iron an’ cameras ’roun’ de house, nor I cyhan afford even a “sammon-tot retriever” – food too expensive, even fuh he, soul – so I got to depen’ ’pon muh eyes an’ ears.
De lates’ International Monetary Fund report en good a-tall. Dese present job cuts, wid mo’ comin’, got to happen, tek it or lef’ it. Rough times gine las’ ’til at leas’ 2016 – Central Bank Guvnor figure is “2015”. An’ duh know mo’ dan de unions ’bout de number o’ Bajans dat gone home up to now. Po’ dem, still wonderin’ an’ waitin’ an’ hopin’ fuh de lis’. An’ still, not one word from Guvment.
C’dear, at leas’ come out an’ gi’e we de troof ’bout t’ings, neh, ’specially sence Dr Estwick now let de cat outta de bag ’bout who should tek blame fuh all de onnecessary “freenesses”. We’s sensible people, treat we wid li’l respeck an’ leh we try to settle down an’ get on as bes’ we could.
Mos’ Bajans is reasonable people an’ might be onderstan’. We don’ feel good de IMF know ’nough t’ings dat we, ’pon de spot, don’ know. So treat we good by comin’ out an’ explainin’ evaht’ing , an’ four years down de road, yuh might – ef yuh lucky – get we to return de favour!
Yuh could say we luck really hit rock bottom, doh, when two Brits could try to stain we tourism reputation – jes’ when we tryin’ to get it movin’ agen – by hollerin’ loud an’ clear duh had a “home invasion” an’ get rob o’ all duh expensive jewellery. When Philomena firs’ hear ’bout it, she jes’ snigger an’ ax ef I believe it, as it won’ be de firs’ time visitors come down hey cryin’ “wolf”, an’ den go back home an’ pocket de insurance money wid all duh “valuables” intack.
It turn out muh frien’ was right! But t’ink o’ all de damage dem brutes mussee cause, wid de English papers jumpin’ ’pon de news an’ spreadin’ it far an’ wide how duh citizens should be careful when visitin’ Buhbayduss. I hope duh gine now put pen to paper jes’ as fas’, an’ show who guilty.
Philomena please enough wid de outcome – de two changin’ addresses from posh Sandy Lane to Dodds – nine monfs fuh he, 18 fuh she. Dah’s fuh tekkin’ de police ’pon a wile goose chase lookin’ fuh t’ieves dat din exis’. One exception she got, doh. Why we din sen’ duh back home to spen’ duh time in a English prison? We hardly got food fuh we own criminals, much mo’ extras!
An’ t’rough it all, one body dat know evaht’ing, but sayin’ neffin’, is de PM. Philomena say I should realise he very bizzy dese days, wid all dem cocktail parties at Ilaro Court evah five minutes fuh returnin’ Norf Amurican visitors. Wuh after all, somebody got to mek duh feel we ’ppreciate dem, so duh would keep comin’ back year after year.
Hear dis joke befo’ I lef yuh! De economy so “dread” dat it breedin’ a new type o’ “entroppuhner”. Young prostitutes robbin’ ole men wid money outta t’ousan’s o’ dollars by blackmailin’ dem when de transaction done. Y’mean, after all duh years down hey, dem still only t’inkin’ ’bout one t’ing? Duh en tired? Chile, don’ laugh!
Tek care o’ yuhself,
Yuh frien’ Babsie