As a mother, what life lessons do you want to impart to your children?
Wow! So many . . . that it’s okay to be yourself, regardless of who others would like you to be; that beauty comes from the inside; the importance of good manners; that honest, committed hard work provides positive rewards; to be true to your word – letting your yes be yes and your no be no. Being kind to others is another important life lesson I am trying to impart on my two daughters, as I dislike when people are unkind to others for seemingly no reason or to make them feel better about themselves.
How has motherhood changed your life?
I have learnt to make good use of every minute of every day – multitasking throughout. You’d be surprised how soul-satisfying 20 minutes with my book can be! Also I’ve learnt more patience and the whole concept of sowing now so my children can reap later. Parenting requires you to put so very much time, effort and energy in now, the fruit and results of which are often not experienced until much later.
What keeps me passionate (about motherhood) is . . .
Arriving home from work each day to the pom-pom party my daughters throw for me as though they haven’t seen me for a week. That’s just the best! Everyone needs a cheerleading team!
My biggest regret is . . .
That my mother is not alive to give me guidance and spend time with her grandchildren – she would have been a great doting grandmother! She died when Eden, our firstborn daughter, was 4 months old. Also, that I didn’t start to have children earlier (maybe I’d have had more ) and that I didn’t travel to do a safari in Africa or to places like Australia before I started to have my family commitments.
The person who has made the biggest impact on my life?
My mother – she taught me the importance of rearing children with lots of love and just as much discipline. I actually surprise myself when I hear myself saying things that she said which I didn’t like to hear as a child (smiles). She put her family first . . . always!
What is the most difficult aspect of being a working mother?
I have to run a company, motivate my staff and meet my clients’ needs while doing school runs, extracurricular activities, remembering their schedules and individual needs, and still be on time for my meetings, get my building designs done and then relieve the babysitter on time so she can go home to her family. I have super help in my husband but when it boils down, only mummy is mummy and in the middle of the night it is often mummy who is called.
Also, my days start at 4 a.m. so I can get in my run. I struggle with waking up at that time but feel so much better when I get back from my run. I look forward to the long-term health benefits I hope to enjoy with my kids.
Lastly I find it difficult coming up with healthy ideas for the lunch box that my daughters will eat and enjoy; I’m not very . . . er . . . ummm . . . creative in the kitchen.
A life-changing moment happened in . . .
2003!! I got married, started my own architectural company, was elected the first female president of the Barbados Institute of Architects, and moved house! The fatigue prepared me well for motherhood.
My most treasured possession is . . .
My husband!!
I love the time I spend with . . .
My girlfriends. I treasure those relationships. It’s free and fantastic therapy!
How did I ever exist without . . .
A relationship with God. It keeps me centred.
What I love most about myself now is . . .
I have learnt to laugh at myself . . . and my mistakes. . . . I’ve also learnt to let things go – I used to harp on certain things and wonder why they were as they were or why I couldn’t change them. I have made tremendous strides in this area and now I’ve learnt to accept that some things are just the way they are and I’ll save a whole lot of energy just accepting that.
• Vicki Telford is mother to two girls, Eden, 4-1/2, and Samara, 18 months, and is director, principal architect, and project manager at Vicki Telford Architects Inc.