Dear Christine,
After living with a man for almost two years, I have become increasingly aware that we are definitely not meant for each other.
There are just too many areas of disagreement. Our goals seem to be directed towards totally different ends.
I am not saying this is his fault, but what makes the situation seem so impossible is that he would not ask for help even if he knew it could save his life or the life of someone he loves because he’s too proud.
To ask for help would be to admit that he did not have all the answers.
My problem is that I do not know how to ease out of this relationship. If he ever listened he would have picked up many clues, but he does not.
I am now attracted to another man and want to be free to live my own life. I cannot keep procrastinating the difficult time when he has to know.
– MC
Dear MC
Do not delay telling him if you know it is over. It is not going to get easier as time goes by; it will only get harder. There is no real easy way to break up a relationship, unless the feeling is mutual.
This man is bound to be hurt, but he will be less hurt if you place the problems on the simple fact of the differences between your individual personalities. This keeps it from becoming a personal attack on him.
It sounds to me as if this man, like many others, is not in touch with his feelings.
He has cut himself off from himself and unless he can find the humility to be able to accept help, he is not apt to change.
– CHRISTINE