Everybody seems to understand what happens to a person if he or she is treated unfairly. They expect the individual to feel hurt and “unfaired” and therefore sulk, become withdrawn and not produce up to their normal standard.
Where children are concerned, the less favoured become jealous; and we all know what happens when jealousy creeps into the hearts of children. There is constant fighting and name-calling.
When you favour, you automatically “disfavour” and those who are not favoured tend to lose the drive to succeed. They are not willing to work hard anymore, especially if the favoured person was deemed not to be a hard worker. Why should you work hard if you can get by without working hard?
That is the normal reaction with teenagers and it’s also not uncommon with adults. Some may even stop taking part in whatever activity it was that they were supposedly “unfaired” in. Some may even stop doing other things that are unrelated as a form of personal protest.
The frustration and anger become a deadly combination.
I must say, however, that there are some who use the anger and pain they experience to drive them to perform even better than before. Unfortunately, these are not in the majority.
Now let us look at those who are the beneficiaries of favouritism – the showing of unfair favour.
They are not given reason to be jealous or envious. They did not even have to work hard for their so-called achievement so they would be feeling pretty good about themselves. Life is an easy road.
Let us now create a scenario. There is a sports team and someone is chosen to play who, in the eyes of everyone else in the team, does not merit a play. It is clearly a case of favouritism.
From what was said earlier, you can deduce that there will be ill feeling by those unfaired. But the difference here is that the unfaired person is not in the team so the jealousy and envy we spoke of would not be in the team. Does that then mean that all is well in the team?
No! Far from it.
The other members of the team all know that this favoured individual did not merit a play and they all, without conversing about it or planning it, will fail from there on to give 100 per cent.
The question on each individual’s mind is: why should I have to work this hard and a person who has done nothing is rewarded just like me? Even if sometimes they try for “professional” reasons, every time they see the favoured person and their work ethic, it kills the spirit.
The result is that this individual’s lack of effort is multiplied by ten. So now you have ten players in the team deliberately holding back because of one person. As a result, the team suffers.
The situation is further compounded by the favoured person’s dilemma. Since he did not earn his play, he does not know how to keep it. He did not have to work for it, therefore he does not have to work to keep it.
Have you ever noticed that years ago when parents had to buy books for their children in secondary school, the books were properly cared for? They would be covered and preserved to be sold again. This was the respect for the spending of hard-earned money. Today you go to the school and see those books left all over the place. This is what generally happens when you are given things, rather than having to pay for them.
The same thing happens when you are given a house. I am sure you can agree that you would care the house you built with your own hands or paid to get built – having gone through all the stresses of building – much better than the one left to you by your grandmother.
You treasure things that you work hard to earn and you work hard to keep them.
Now there is another dilemma. If the favoured person fails or performs poorly, can he be dropped from the team? On what basis? Can you drop someone for the same reason you picked them?
They did not do anything to get their play. How can you drop them if they do the same thing? You see the danger in favouritism?
Favouritism is a guaranteed recipe for disaster in team sports.
PS. In the Bible, Joseph was the child most favoured by his father – which resulted in his brothers’ plot to kill him.
• Mac Fingall is an entertainer and retired secondary school teacher. Email scouds@yahoo.com.