YOU WOULD REMEMBER last week I told ya’al dat I was going tuh talk li’l more ’bout this begging thing dat like it is a newthing fuh men? Well, here it is.
But before I go on,I ain’t want ya’all tuh think dat I bashing men – not at all. It is wha’ some o’ dem doing dat irking me. Dat is whyI have tuh talk ’bout it.
Now listen tuhthis: a friend o’ mine meet me the otherday and allow me tuh know dat women doesbeg more than menand I had tuh admitdat he was right.
I ain’t disputingdat at all ’cause Iknow duh got some women who does begduh way through life. Duh come along allduh life begging andduh old as the hillsnow and still begging. Duh cahn help it now;it engrained in dem.
Dem is the womendat Sach Moore doessing ’bout evah Christmas. The song name Wha Ya Gonna Gi’ Me Fuh Christmas. Dem is the womenwho does holler andtell ya dat today isduh birthday or theones who does wanttuh be at evah cockfight; the ones who doeswant tuh be in thelatest, tightest and ugliest o’ evahthingeven though it doan suit dem and duh does look very bad in it.
Dem is the ones who does play dem drawing up under a fella whodem know might havea dollar in he pocketand playing dem like he, while all the time dem got plans tuh fleece he outta evah blind centhe got in he pocket, especially if it is aFriday evening or night when duh know he get pay. But unlike the men, ya doan see dem all ’bout the road begging likeduh stupid.
I only know ’boutone woman who doesbeg bold like how the men does do it. Sheis a real character,boh. Something is seriously wrong wid she head.One time me and oneo’ my sisters was sitting down in a car in a car park of a St James supermarket. All of a sudden we noticed this woman walking up tuh evahbody who come outta the supermarket and begging dem fuh $20. People, especially men, was looking at she like she was gine madas France.
But you would think dat she would ask fuha five dollar or something small. Oh no, my girldid want a twenty from evahbody. So after about 15 minutes or so andnot one soul ain’t giveher a cent, she turnloose a serious cussing pon evahbody, askingdem how the hell dem expect she tuh eat, pay she bills and buy food and pampers fuhshe child.
All I could do was laugh. I laugh till my jaws hurt – it was just too funny. I does stillsee her ’bout the place trying tuh get ya attention, wid onefinger raised saying, “Excuse me”.
But back tuh themen though. Duh got some men who doesstand up by bank doors and wait till you come outta the bank just tuh ask you fuh money, like evah time ya go into a bank, you does go fuh money, nothing else.And dem does make it duh business tuh comeup in your face and ask you fuh exactly whatdem want.
One time I went intoa bank, come out and went straight ovah tuh my li’l puma dat was parked very close tuhthe entrance and as soon as I put the key in the ignition and move off, a young fella fly up tuh my window asking me, in the most urgent way, fuha dollar.
Hear me: “A dollar???” And hear the paro: Okay, okay. Two then?” Ilook at he like hewas some kinda madman and he was as seriousas a judge.
I had tuh beg hetuh please tek he hand offa muh car before I miss and run ovahhe foot, hear? These people ain’t easy.
I realize dat duhdoan go tuh the men ’cause the men doeswalk and keep duhheads straight. Mosto’ dem doan give dema cent, but it is the women who does be playing dem reaching intuh duh li’l pursesand giving dem money.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.