I like Al Gilkes column; don’t tell him because he already got extra large feet and I wouldn’t want he head to get big too. Reading Al though does tek time because yuh got to read right down to de end to get de sting. De one he write recently ’bout going to Trinidad and the picong he get because he was going to a place in Woodbrook name Buller Street, remind me of a similar experience I had growing up in Trinidad.
Vacation time was Trinidad time. I would return to Bubbadus at de last possible minute, sometimes getting back late fuh school, missing de boat. Years later I would spend plenty time in TnT – I had “interests” there but I use to get a hard time from my Trini taxi driver.
Every Trini taximan is a comedian. One trip I staying in Goodwood Park and when I gave de man de address, he laughing sarcastically and trying a pun or two on “Goodwood”. When I did not laugh he say, “Baje, yuh too serious man” and sought to explain de humour of Bajan and my address Goodwood. So next time I decide to tell de driver I going St James, who tell me do dat! “Oh gorm, St James, Baje, you leaves St James to come to St James in TnT!” Again I didn’t see de humour but he persist and when he ask me which part of “Barbadoes” I from, I was tempted to tell he Sweet Bottom in St George, but I ’fraid de car crash!
De next trip I get a li’l pick at NBS Radio 610 alongside big guns like Dave Elcock, Brenda Dasilva and de late Astra Dacosta, my taximan pick me up. “Where to dis time, Baje?” Reply: “Alanetto Apartments, St Anns.” “St Anns?” He say: “Is only mad people they have up there!”
So imagine my dilemma when I meet a pretty Trini lass at a fete and she agreed that we could meet again and go on a date. Over time one thing lead to another and so on a future visit, I had to give de driver the address and with some apprehension I told he I going to Buller Street. You can imagine de bacchanal dat went on ’bout Baje and this street in Woodbrook. De man laughing like if he just hear a Mac Fingall punch line.
By the next trip I had had enough so I tell de man to drop me in Ariapita Avenue. “What happen to de chick in Buller Street,” he ask, to which I replied: “She fire me.” I tek de drop to Ariapita and de girlfriend pick me up. She tell me dat I should tell de man to mind his business or simply use another taximan.
Next visit he ask: “Ariapita Avenue?” “No,” I replied, “back to Buller Street. Fear de man, yuh boy back in business!”
When we arrive in Buller Street I told him I needed a ride out to Jackass Trace in Cunupia de next day. “Jackass Trace,” he say, “I never hear ’bout a place name Jackass Trace.”
And as I step out the car, ah say, “I thought you tell me you know de whole of Trinidad?” “Bossman I do, but ah never hear ’bout Jackass Trace.” My parting shot: “I could swear dat is where you tell me yuh mudder come from!” “Baje, yuh mammaguying meh?”
Mind you, I grateful that de shadow Chancellor of de Exchequer in de UK, Ed Balls, is not my friend and don’t live at Bullen’s Avenue, Bayville!
• I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
