Dear Christine,
It has been said that you don’t really know people until you’ve lived with them, but that’s like putting the cart before the horse.
My letter will not be one of those popular ones but after looking at the lifestyles of some people, not necessarily all young people, I’d like to drive home a point. I believe at my age, I am in the position to do so.
It seems, Christine, that people do not date anymore. A girl meets a boy and within a week or two, even less sometimes, they have jumped into bed already.
Now mind you, I know some relationships could start this way and end up all right, but not many actually do.
The process of dating is for the purpose of getting to know a person. It is a time for sharing likes and dislikes, beliefs, habits and faults, as well as good characteristics.
Each situation, whether a dinner date, movie date, sporting event, picnic, church service, a game of cards, a day at the beach or amusement park, or even cooking together, presents a different “atmosphere”.
The longer the relationship endures, the more opportunities there are to detect characteristics of honesty (or dishonesty), jealousy, faithfulness, possessiveness, tenderness, cruelty and so on.
All of this can be done without a sexual relationship.When and if both parties arrive at the conclusion that this is a lasting love and not lust or infatuation, then a marriage commitment can be made.
I would never want someone’s rejected lover after they have lived together and then discovered it was no good.
Neither would I want someone to first “sample me” in bed to see if I fit the bill. Right is right and there’s a right way and a perfect way.
Waiting for your response.
– OBSERVANT AND WISE
Dear Observant and Wise,
It is true that the more exposure, the better the opportunity to observe the potential mate.
Lasting relationships are usually those where people get to know each other without putting too much emphasis on sexual intercourse, and I do agree that it’s always best to wait it out than to “waste it out”.
In fact, many potentially committed relationships are ruined because of couples who really did not take the time to get to know each other better.
On the other hand, some people can forgo sexual intercourse until after marriage, but perhaps get married before they were quite ready for commitment.
In any case, thanks for sharing.
– CHRISTINE
