Dear Christine,
My boyfriend says we’re going to get married in a small wedding late December but he wants us to live like man and wife now. I am 19 years old and he is 27.
Actually, we were first planning on getting married next Easter, but he says he will marry me at Christmas if I get pregnant.
I do not feel this is right as we are already close to the time when he says we can get married, but I cannot get him to understand this for he is always quarrelling with me.
Just the other day we had a big argument and he said he would not come back unless I got “some sense in my head”. I do not know what to do.
He said I must telephone and let him know my intentions.
I want him back but I do not want to get into the mess I see a lot of girls in.
– C.Y.
Dear C.Y.,
I don’t want to cast doubt on your relationship, but when I read between the lines all I am seeing is “he says”. Don’t you have any say in the matter?
When you call him it will indicate that you are ready to live with him as man and wife. I fear that a 27-year-old man laying down ultimatums like that is far from honourable and has no honourable intentions.
If he truly loves and cares about you, he will wait. If, on the other hand, he refuses to appreciate your wishes in this matter, then recognize him for who he really is – a man who is out to get what he wants without any consideration for the woman he claims to love.
Do not allow him to place any undue pressure on you. Stay your course and let him know that’s what you intend to do.
– CHRISTINE
