Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.
As children, this was our response to each other when someone said something to us that was mean, embarrassing or hurtful. I remember saying it when I was young, and I continue to hear children repeating it.
As I matured, I quickly recognised that words do hurt and have the potential to leave long-lasting scars for many many years, unless there is some deliberate process of healing and forgiveness.
It is with words that we start and end wars, bless and curse people and ourselves; uplift and tear down; encourage and criticize. With words we attract people and make people laugh or cry.
Look around you and you will see how words have transformed the world in which we live. Politicians skilfully use words to gain votes. Religious people use words to communicate with God. Musicians use words to convey a message in their music.
Young people in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya used words via the Internet to rally people to join their campaign and protest.
Words have power, and as a result we should be very mindful of what we say to ourselves and to others.
In 1994, I stood in my class at primary school waiting to be called up to receive my Common Entrance results. On receiving them, I saw that I had passed for The Lodge School (I later transferred to Christ Church Foundation).
A teacher in the class next to mine called me to her desk to ask what marks I had received and which school I had passed for. I told her I got 73.4 per cent and had passed for The Lodge.
The teacher stupsed, looked me in my face and said: “I done know you was a waste; you was neva nuh good. You ain’t gine amount tuh nuttin.”
Those words remained with me all through Foundation, the Barbados Community College and at UWI – even to this day. Her words had the potential to destroy my self-esteem and crush my self-confidence, as has been the fate of thousands of other children.
I decided I would remember those words each time I felt like giving up. I decided to use those words to propel me over the walls and barriers that I faced each day. Those words have been one of my biggest motivators in life.
Many children struggle daily with depression, low self-esteem and self-confidence. Many more struggle with suicide thoughts, and some see no value in life or in themselves. Many of this, I believe, is due to the misuse of words. So many of us have been called ugly, stupid, ig’rant, dog and even jackass. We have been told we are just like our father; “You is a waste of my time and money”; “I wish you was never born”; “You cuh go and dead”; “You disgust me”; “You are an embarrassment to me”; “You does sicken me”.
Many of our youth hear these comments day in day out. This is what they are accustomed to. Many of our youth and adults are angry, hurting, lonely and lost. I believe a substantial amount of it is due to the words of death that have been spoken into their lives for many years.
I am taking a risk here, but I am bold enough to say the majority of you reading this column have had more hurtful comments spoken to you than loving ones.
How many of us received a hug and kiss each day from our parents? How many of us heard on a daily basis “I love you”, “You are beautiful”, “You are wonderfully made”, “You are handsome”, “You are smart”, “You will make me proud”, “I am pleased that you are my son or daughter”?
I wish some of you got the chance to experience some of what we teachers do. On numerous occasions I have told students “You have a wonderful smile”, or “You have a beautiful heart”, or ‘You are a handsome young man”, or “You are a beautiful young lady”, or “You have nice teeth” only to see them retreat into their shells of shyness, disbelief and embarrassment. They are not accustomed to receiving compliments or uplifting words.
Words have power; let’s make a deliberate attempt to speak positive and loving words into our lives and each others’.
Remember, we all have two main desires: to love and to be loved.
• Corey Worrell is a former Commonwealth youth ambassador.