Dear Christine,
AFTER PUTTING ME THROUGH misery for many years, my husband finally walked out on me and our child for a young girl who still lives with her parents. He even tried to turn us out of the house but I was advised not to move.
After a few months he said he realized he needed us. For the child’s sake and because I do care for him, we made up.
However, shortly after his return, he started spending time again with the girl; staying out most nights, especially over the weekend. Sometimes it is only one night a week that he is at home for any length of time.
I met a very nice man recently. There is nothing between us but he is someone I feel I can grow to care for. He loves me and says he’ll patiently wait. However, my husband objects and has ordered me to stop seeing my friend. Still, he comes and goes as he likes.
I seldom see him but when I do, he is miserable and says he cannot live without me.
– M
Dear M,
Your husband is playing a dangerous game in that he wants to eat his cake and have it too. Why is it so hard for him to give up this woman? Are you failing to fill a void in his life, or is he just a man who believes that running around adds some measure of spice to his life?
I think you should give him an ultimatum. Either he’s with you or he’s with her. Don’t let him continue to use you as a doormat.
You also need to stop entertaining any thoughts about this “very nice man”. Concentrate on what’s taking place in your home and how your actions and those of your husband are affecting the child.
Don’t complicate matters. Just because your husband is unfaithful does not mean that you have to run into the arms of someone else. After all, two wrongs don’t make a right.
– CHRISTINE
