Dear Christine,
From time to time I see men writing to you and I somehow feel as a woman (which I presume you are), you’d help me understand my wife or get her to understand me.
We have been married for 16 years and have two children. At this time of our lives, I find our sex life almost non-existent. Please understand me. I know that sex is not all there is, but it does help a marriage along.
My wife is not interested in sex more than once a month and sometimes even longer . . . if she is interested at all.
She never makes the first move, which makes me feel like I am not wanted. She thinks making love is best in the dark, in bed and in one set position.
I am not a sex maniac, but I feel there is room for variety and we are missing out on this side of our marriage. With things as they are, I am beginning to feel that I cannot be bothered to approach her.
As a result, I am often sulky towards our children – who should be the last people to suffer. I just cannot discuss this with my wife.
– L.F.
Dear L.F.,
I am afraid you will have to discuss it with your wife. There is no other way out.
The problem you’ve shared is really between the two of you.
There are too may partners – especially women – who like to withhold sex from their spouses, then when a third party comes into the picture, seem so surprised.
You’ve got to sit your wife down and have a good heart-to-heart talk with her. Let her know that you’re hurting and you really want your marriage to work. I suggest that you perhaps meet somewhere privately and have a good talk.
You may be very surprised at what she is going through as well.
– CHRISTINE
