Dear Christine,
I am hoping that you’ll be able to help me with my present situation and tell me how to deal with it.
I am living with a man who totally disrespects me. We have been together for four years and have been living together for only the past two years.
I moved in with him after he convinced me that it would be the ideal way for me save some money and, at the same time, for us to stay together.
Christine, about five months after I moved in, I started to see a different side to this man, who was always kind-hearted and loving.
I noticed that he would leave his clothes on the floor and I would have to walk behind him to pick them up. I also noticed that he would never help with the chores around the house; even when it comes to taking care of the outside, I would be the one to do that.
I have saved very little. When the refrigerator went bad seven months after I moved in and could not be repaired, I was the one who had to purchase a new one.
While he did not exactly say he would not purchase one, he never made an effort to do so. We went four weeks without a refrigerator and I could not take it any more.
For the past five months, he has been having an affair. Well, for the past five months that I know of.
Mind you, this man is very jealous.
I discovered this [the affair] when I overheard a conversation he was having one night.
Christine, I was hurt. This conversation lasted for almost an hour and he told that woman how much he loved her and wanted her. I was lying next to him in to the bed, but he thought I was asleep.
A couple of days later I asked him to take me to the hairdresser and he said he had to work late. Christine, I decided to come home early and not go to the hairdresser after all. When I reached home,
I found him on the telephone again talking to this woman.
When he realized I was at home, he went outside and sat down in his car to talk to her. He made no excuse about the fact that he was not at work.
Lately, whenever he is talking on his cellphone or whenever it rings for him, he goes outside to talk.
I have asked him repeatedly if he wants to continue the relationship and he says yes, but Christine, why would he want to do that if he is seeing another woman?
I am thinking seriously about leaving him, but I am afraid because he can be very aggressive.
Christine, what do I do?
I do not want to end up another victim of murder at the hands of a jealous lover but I believe it’s time to move on.
– Help
Dear Help,
You have become this man’s live-in-maid and you need to give up this job.
In other words, fire the man and the work. If you are serious about moving out and you’re afraid, make your move only in the presence of a police of to move on.
– Christine