NEW YORK NEW YORK: Dads doing their part

“If I can succeed at reaching for my goal like you have then I have nothing to worry about.”It was almost 20 years ago when a newly minted Bajan attorney in New York sent his father those heart-warming words shortly after the young man had graduated from law school.It was his way of recognising the part played by the man, he described as his “role model,” whose guidance “provided me with some special insights and gifts. Determination, drive, vision and most recently a taste for entrepreneurship, all legacies I have received from you.”Thee attorney who went on to teach constitutional law at a college in the City University of New York, prosecute criminals and now holds a key position in a large institution in New York, didn’t stop there.“Thank you for all your support in every sense of the word,” was the way he put it.The Bajan father who asked that his name be withheld pulls out the note around this time every year as Father’s Day approaches, not to pat himself on the back for a good well done, but to remind himself of the valuable role of a male parent.For as he sees it, apart from helping to finance the household, fathers, as the attorney said in his letter should be role models who provide their offspring, particularly their sons, with guidance and gifts that put them on the road to success.United States Congressman Adolphus Ed Towns a member of the House of Representatives in Washington D.C. for almost 30 years and the father of two adult children, agrees.“Regardless of their age, talking to them and being there for them, sharing new experiences and helping them to avoid many pitfalls are essential,” Towns advised.His words of wisdom are timely and relevant. With Father’s Day just around the corner, let’s hope millions of fathers are listening. The issue of parental responsibility in general and the role of fathers in particular is crucial, not simply in the United States but throughout the Caribbean, a region of the world where single parent households are either growing at a fast clip or considered much too high for the good health of children. In Barbados the rate is over 40 per cent, in some of its neighbors the figure is closer to 50 per cent, almost all of them headed by mothers.A reality check is needed. A household headed by a mother in Barbados or New York doesn’t necessarily mean the total absence of a father. Thousands of men who don’t live in the same house with their children help to raise them through visiting relationships.There is something else to the story. In the Caribbean and Africa where the HIV/AIDS pandemic is taking a heavy toll on families through the deaths of fathers, households and children are being left without a male figure.Just last week, United States Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, after meeting in Barbados with Caricom foreign ministers lamented the fact that “the leading cause of death of young adults in the Caribbean was AIDS, striking and taking them from us at the height of their productivity, at the beginning of their family lives.” That’s why the Obama Administration was committing $162 million this year to HIV and AIDS programmes in the Caribbean.Washington’s financial help is crucial because it will help to prolong the lives of parents and boost their relationship with children. Another hard fact of life for children is the picture of fathers in prison. Hundreds of men are incarcerated at Dodds while in the United States 2.1 million inmates are in prisons, 550 000 of whom are Black men between the ages of 20 and 39 years old. Hundreds of them are West Indian immigrants, Bajans among them. In Caricom where tens of thousands of people are currently behind bars, more than 80 per cent of them are men, a host of them are fathers.But the picture isn’t entirely depressing.More and more fathers are living up to their responsibilities. It is not an uncommon sight to see fathers taking their children to school before heading to work.  Many are going to court seeking full or shared custody of their children, often arguing that they are better parents than mothers and are capable and willing to take charge of raising their children.Little wonder, then, that in Canada, Senator Anne Cools, the Bajan who in the 1980s became the first Black woman appointed to that country’s upper house of parliament has become a champion for fathers, insisting that men should be recognized for the part they play in children’s lives. And the recognition shouldn’t simply come on Father’s Day.