When Colin Jordan’s best friend Merton Sandiford got married and introduced him to Charmaine Greaves little did he know how Colin’s life would change. While Colin definitely liked Charmaine, he had no way of knowing that a wedding would be the outcome. But alas Charmaine did have some divine leading.
“I was tired courting, not that I had a lot of relationships, but I told God I wanted a husband and he must be three things: Seventh Day Adventist; Committed to church and vegetarian, because I was planning on becoming one” she revealed. “I knew Colin was the first two so when he said he was becoming vegetarian, I said ‘Thank you Jesus’.”
While she marvelled with delight at how quickly God answered her prayers, she wasn’t about to give Colin an easy time.
“She didn’t even want to give me her phone number,” Colin said smiling.
“You can’t seem too easy,” she retorted laughing.
Eventually their love for each other won out because 14 months later, on February 8, 1998, Colin and Charmaine were married, and within two months were expecting their first child.
Their relationship has been marked in the traditions of family values – children following the models set by their parents before them – and from a religious standpoint since they are both Seventh Day Adventists.
“We were both born Seventh Day Adventists, so that was a good beginning,” Colin said. “The religion gives you a point of reference. Seventh Day Adventism is pretty strong on basic things like rest which helps you to keep balance in your life.”
Fast forward 13 years. The Jordan’s now are a family of four with the addition of two daughters, Chelsea 12, and Courtney, 9 and juggling dual careers.
“I try to spend time with the family. As Seventh Day Adventists we don’t work on Saturdays, well really Friday night to Saturday evening and that time for sure I’m not going to be doing any work unless it’s a major emergency,” said Colin. “So that’s time we spend together, and in recent times we go to my sister and her husband for a large family gathering.”
But along with the quality time with family, both Colin and Charmaine are big are spending time with each other to reconnect.
“It’s important to have time to spend with each other,” he said. “I like to talk about communication and going out allows you to enjoy some of the nicer things in life.
“Staycations is something that we’ve done over the last two or three years. Those kinds of things are nice and help to keep our relationship pretty fresh.”
With demanding jobs, he as the head of the Barbados Hotel & Tourism Association and Charmaine a teacher and studying at the University of the West Indies, they struggle with the demands of balancing their family life. They admit that their extended family network of grandparents, aunt and good friends have played an integral role in helping them to keep it all together.
“We’ve been able to work out a good schedule with family and good friends of ours,” said Jordan. “It’s tough sometimes, but I try not to take work home.”
Though still young, Colin and Charmaine both agree that marriage and parenthood have changed them.“I didn’t have a fear of death,” Colin said. “Since the children came along, now I want to see them grow up and past the worse. I think I’ve always been pretty responsible.”
For Charmaine she has a different view. “Sometimes I think I’m not capable of being the mother I should be. That’s my fear actually being the kind of guide for them that I should be,” she said.
But one thing that both Charmaine and Colin share is their concentrated focus on their family and each other.
“I think it’s about personal commitment,” Charmaine said. “You have to decide from the beginning, come hell or high water that you’re going to stay together.
“I’m of the view that parents have a responsibility to raise children to be independent to get on with their own lives,” Colin said.
“I’ve seen a lot of couples have children focus all their attention on the children and when they are big and gone the parents don’t know each other. We’ve made a decision that’s not going to happen with us.”
