PUDDING & SOUSE: Tell it like it is on the grave

GOSSIPING at a funeral can do much more than just raise the dead.
When a certain woman saw her husband’s mistress sauntering into the churchyard at a funeral, she was so shocked that she lost her footing and almost fell into the hole. It was then that she got so angry she started to tell everyone around the graveside how she hated the woman because she would not stop sleeping with her husband.
Of course, this proved to be a big distraction for mourners, many of whom were so caught up in listening to her raving and ranting that they forgot they were there to pay their last respects to the dead. But one mourner who was standing nearby could not keep her big mouth shut. She allowed wifey to know that it was her no-good husband who was running around at dances hitting on all the young women by sweet-talking them and flashing hundred-dollar bills.
Poor wifey could not utter a word after that. From the cold, hard look on her face, it was obvious that she was wishing she was the one being covered up in the hole.
 
Million-dollar smile
Many people seem to have benefited from a golden handshake, which we understand was made in a boardroom in the north.
Some are saying the sweetheart deal was worth over a million dollars, which was shared out among certain big-ups. Now that the ink has dried, we will all just sit back and wait to see if name brand really sells. But whether or not the concept fails, certain people are smiling all the way to the bank.
 
Hard lesson
Now that investigations have started into the practices of a certain legal eagle, it seems that his shady clients have gone underground, leaving him to deal with the matter all on his own.
His colleagues are wondering how he could be so dumb to turn up at a certain scene demanding thousands of dollars in cash from a victim when he knew his clients were big-time scammers.
But others believe he should be given a break. Their defence is that taking a long time to do a degree would indicate one is not the brightest bulb.
 
Acting just like mum
IS IT true that two little girls who attend an urban primary school were caught in the bathroom just after lunch time with nothing on but their shoes and socks?
Is it also true that when the authorities questioned one of the girls she said she was only doing what she saw her mother doing with her girlfriend at night?
What a shame!