Dear Christine,
I have been married for six years and I love my husband very much. In fact, I love him more than when we first met.
I believe the feeling was mutual until he started going out on his own soon after our third child was born.
Since I had no cause to be suspicious before, I accepted his excuse that he was going out with some friends – this was something I felt he needed to do anyway.
One day, however, someone tipped me off and told me where I could find him. I went to the location and saw him with this woman.
I simply let them know I saw them and drove away.
When he reached home, he was very apologetic and said he would leave the woman. He cried like a baby and told me it would take a while to get her out of his system. We agreed to a time, but that time has passed and he is still seeing her.
He says he does not love her, but the affair is still going on. Why should he be doing this?
– K.
Dear K,
That’s my question too. Why is he seeing a woman he claims not to love? I honestly believe that while he loves you and the children, this woman is providing him some level of excitement that he enjoys.
I’m surprised that you both would decide on a deadline for him to end the relationship.
You are a woman of a different kind.
Some wives would have given him an ultimatum there and then, or perhaps walked out on him.
If I were you I would ask him, if the shoe was on the other foot, would he allow you to continue an affair until you felt it was time to let go and return to him wholeheartedly.
By giving him permission to carry on this affair, you’re probably giving him the impression that it’s okay with you.
I would suggest you make it quite clear that he either stops seeing this woman or leaves, or you do.
If he really cares about you, he’ll make the choice to stick with you.
– CHRISTINE
