BEHIND every story there is another story and another story and even another story. And Andrew Brathwaite, 44, has a couple stories that could tug at your heartstrings.
One such story is how he had to take away his two sons from their mother because of physical and mental abuse.
Another story is how he had a nervous breakdown after the death of his parents and had to be on anti-depressants.
Add to that the fact that he is now the primary caretaker of his mentally challenged sister, Alicia.
Andrew is the youngest of three children and was born in England to Barbadian parents who went there seeking a better life for their children. He had only visited Barbados twice – at a week old and then six months.
A chance encounter on the streets of London led him to reunite with his high school sweetheart who had moved to St Lucia and was now back in England. They shacked up and had two sons, Shiro now 22 and Shandon, 17.
The relationship started to deteriorate and when it ended in 1997, Andrew decided to take his broken heart to heal in Barbados.
“My parents were back here because they had retired. My grandmother was also here, sick with cancer. I had to come and cool my head. So it was perfect timing”, he said in his heavy English accent.
But he had to leave his sons, aged three and eight years old behind.
It was now 1999 and he received a disturbing phone call from his niece. His sons, apparently, were being “abused” by their mum and stepfather.
“I flew to England. No sooner than I came to the house she opened the door and told me to take them.”
Andrew said he was unprepared for that. “I had no money to support them. So I got back my old job as postman at the Daily Mail, bummed around at friends and relatives for three weeks. I saved every penny and dime to buy their tickets.”
Andrew was taking his sons back to Barbados with him but fate threw a spoke in his wheels – but just for a little bit.
“I had only a week left there but I had to go back to Barbados because my grandmother had died.” Andrew paused, stared off into the distance and with a slight shaking of the head continued: “I had to leave them and fly to Barbados for the funeral. Then I flew back to England, picked them up and came back to Barbados.”
The boys seemed to have heard the story already, but they listened attentively still.
“They are good boys,” Andrew said looking at them proudly. “We have a good relationship. They have tried to push my buttons . . . test me . . . . But they have settled down now.”
Andrew remembers the September they flew back to Barbados to start a new life – right in the middle of a hurricane. The boys were five and ten years old and scared. They all slept in the same room in the same bed that night.
Andrew says a big credit goes to his parents in helping to raise the boys. He or his dad would take them to school – Shandon to St Leonard’s Boys and Shiro to the Garrison Secondary School.
“I worked as a labourer on a construction site for two years. It was hard. But I made sure I reached home and made dinner for them every day, helped them with school work.”
Things picked up when he got a job in the hotel industry and he is now an ambassador at the exclusive The House Hotel.
“It has been 11 years I have been in the hotel industry. I started out lower level and worked many graveyard shifts. But I made sure I came straight home to see them off for school.”
Shiro is quick to spill family secrets: his dad and brother are afraid of spiders. What scares Shiro? Nothing he says. Then quickly admits he is afraid of dying young. The family is close knit and likes to play games and watch football. Shiro is a Manchester United fan while dad favours Chelsea. They have a friendly rivalry when it comes to their teams.
Andrew said he doesn’t sugar coat anything for his sons and when he saw that they were not “academically inclined” he told them to “take a different route”. They are good with their hands, he says. Shiro is now in the Barbados Youth Service. Shandon held a weekend job while still at school. He is now an auto electrician with the same employers, the Ministry of Transport and Works, and studying part-time.
What is mine is theirs, Andrew said. And this is true. During the interview Shandon swapped shirts with his father – they all wear the same size. Andrew complains that Shiro took one of his black dress pants. The one Shiro had was “adjusted” so he could turn it into a costume for his Michael Jackson routine.
“MJ has been my idol from I was young”, explained Shiro. “I imitated his moves until I could do them with my eyes closed.”
Shiro also dances in a group and has performed at various venues. He has done his MJ routine at Cavalcades and dance shows. His dad is proud of him and quickly prompts Shiro to show some moves.
“The lean from Smooth Criminal and a couple of moves from Thriller gives me trouble,” Shiro points out, as he goes through a short routine, complete with the hat flick. He really is good at it.
Sadly, Andrew’s parents have passed away. He lost his dad four years ago and his mum passed exactly a year later. A year after his mum died he suffered a nervous breakdown at work.
Andrew chalked it up to grief. “I didn’t mourn for either of them when they died. I just went on the same way. I was at work one day and I started shaking and bawling. They rushed me to the doctor.”
Andrew was put on anti-depressants and after a week he was fully recovered.
“I missed my parents everyday. I think about them everyday. There are things I wanted to ask them and do with them. They will miss out on a big part of the boy’s life,” he said sadly.
Andrew hopes that his sons will grow up to be respectful young men and great fathers.
If the saying the apple doesn’t fall from the tree is factual, then he doesn’t have anything to worry about.