I am in a situation that has me totally confused, so I’m speaking out about it in the hope that I would get feedback from readers. It revolves around my new boyfriend, whom I care about deeply.
What has me concerned is his preference in lovemaking. To put it nicely, he encourages me to play with him with my fingers, and when I do this he behaves in a manner I have never experienced with a man before.
At first I thought this was funny and novel, but in discussing it with my best friend she raised a red flag I did not think about – he may be bisexual. I never thought about that before because my man looks like a “real man”. That is, he is very physical and loves to train by lifting weights and going cycling. He is good-looking, loves partying and is a great conversationalist. He is well liked by the ladies and had quite a few. That I know from his love-making – he is simply fantastic in bed. He not only knows the best places to touch you but how to do so, and is extremely sensitive to my responses.
But apart from being a good lover, he is patient and tolerant. He listens to me and I can talk to him in a manner that I have never been able to do with any other man. He encourages me to do things and always seeks to build my confidence. No other man has ever treated me this way. So our relationship is not just about sex, like the others I have had. He respects me as a person and that, more than anything else, makes me want to love him like I have never loved anyone before. Given all of this, I found it difficult to believe my friend’s assessment of his behaviour. But she insists that everything I just related are indications that he may be like that.
Bisexual men, she said, are very sensitive and caring, and this is why women fall for them. Their focus is not just about sex like other men. Instead they get to know their women and tend to treat them really well. She explained that this is what they do because they take intimacy to a very high level, like what my boyfriend likes, and so must have the confidence of the women they are involved with.
I must admit that her assessment has me reeling. I do not believe her, yet some of what she says adds up. When I look at the way he carries himself, he is manly yet very gentle. He cares about things like making sure his elbows are not white and would religiously put lotion on them. He gets his hair cut every week because he likes to always look well groomed, and he dresses really neatly. He is the first man I ever met who irons his T-shirts. Women do that, but men tend to drag them off the line and put them back on. Not my man.I googled “what signs to look for to find out if your man is bisexual”, but that has only added to my confusion. The sex gays like, I did with guys who I’m certain are straight; so doing it with my present boyfriend means nothing. Besides, I like to do that so he did not have to encourage me to try it.
That apart, from what I read I realise how difficult it is to find this out because you can’t know for sure if there are no distinctive outward signs. That is my confession. I may be in love with a bisexual man and I am scared like hell. I don’t want to ask him anything as I fear he may get upset with me and then I’ll lose the best man I ever had. But I can’t get out of my head the possibility that he may be so.
