WITHIN THE LAST three weeks or so there have been a lot of stories about the unfaithfulness of married men living with single women.
As a married man living with a single woman, I read them for the joy of seeing how women, after going through all of this, tell other women not to do it.
But one thing: in any love affair there is gain and loss. A woman will know a man is married but will still love him because she sees something in him that she likes.
I can say that because I am one of those married men who left my wife to live with a single woman because of constant nagging.
We met about seven years ago as both of us belong to the same social organisation.
On leaving work I would stop by her house and we would chat and make love. I usually got home around 7 p.m. This happened for about three days a week until it gradually increased to the point where I was seeing her every day.
After her divorce, and before I came into the picture, she was living with another man in a house. She never mentioned this. All she ever told me was that a relative was living with her. I later found out that she has a lot of men friends.
I have since found out that she is very secretive and loves her cellphone, which she keeps close to her all the time.
On numerous occasions during the early part of our relationship, I would go by her house and some of her other men friends would come there, see me there but not leave. She would stop and talk to them as though I was not there, and then tell me they were just friends.
I would admit that I never lack for anything unless she gets angry.
Recently, I was at a meeting and called her on her cellphone around 9 p.m. At the same time the landline rang and she told me to hold on, that it was her sister. I noted the time because of the numerous lies she tells on her sister. Lo and behold, when I got home and checked the phone, it was one of her male friends who had called.
Again, if we are travelling, she has to check her cellphone all the time and if it rings it is always her sister or a family friend. It got to the point because of the various different types of ringtones that she had that I knew who was calling from the tone of her voice.
The biggest shock of my life came this week when I came across numerous pictures of a male friend, who she once said was a cousin, hid in the bottom of her dresser. When I asked her about them, she said that he was a family friend. You would not believe how I felt.
I, for one, have sacrificed a lot for her – my job, friends, family, money, you name it – and on the back of it, all I get is deceit and lies.
You may very well say I deserve it.
Yes, that’s true. But love is blind.
Although I know it is wrong, I still love her and will continue to do my best for her.
I cry every day to see how I have been taken advantage of. As for her lies and deceit, please remember what is done in the dark shall be revealed on the house top.