IT’S CHRISTMAS – the time of giving and sharing.
But, given the current tough times, some people may be unable to spend as lavishly on gifts for friends, family and loved ones.
Times are indeed hard, and any extra money people have will certainly go towards priority items – like food and even their bills.
However, at this time many people will be waiting with bated breath for their Christmas gifts. But many will be disappointed on realizing that it is the thought that counts in the absence of any tangible gift.
This perhaps prompted this week’s Secrets’ Corner question: Your partner has told you that given how tight things are, he does not intend to give you a present. You have voiced your disapproval of this, but he insists. What can you do to persuade him that his approach is the wrong one? Indeed, is his behaviour wrong given the tough economic conditions?
Why would this approach be the wrong one? The reality is things are not only hard with this individual but with many Barbadians and the difficulty stretches globally.
We have become too mercenary as a people, expecting to get, get, get. Whatever happened with the old adage that it is better to give than to receive?
Of course, everyone likes to receive gifts, whether it is at Christmas time or otherwise. But if your partner has explained that given how tight things are he does not plan to give you a gift, why would his plan be frowned upon?
Isn’t it better for your partner to spend the money responsibly and ensure that there is food on the table and a roof over your head (if you live together)?
It is sheer selfishness on the part of the person who has the gall to voice disapproval. You might be disappointed, which is understandable, but disapproval is an unnecessary and selfish response.
This partner should think twice about her reaction to what appears to be a responsible action.
Christmas is a time to reflect and to celebrate. This woman should commend her partner for being honest enough with her and not leaving her swimming in debt after spending up money he cannot afford to shell out.
What is the relationship based on? What you can get out of it or on love and support for a partner?
Woman, support your partner and work with him as he tries, like many, to survive these rough financial waters. You can still have a great Christmas, gift or no gift. Be thankful and try to remember the true reason for this season and recognize the real gift at this holiday season.
This was what some of The NATION’S Facebook readers had to say on this issue.
“As long as he doesn’t expect one back, it’s no problem. Is this a cheap man, or an honest one?”
“Well partner you and I can be friends, things tight or not, you not getting no gifts. It’s Christmas not her birthday. I thought Christmas was supposed to be about celebrating the Birth of Christ. Call me cheap, but I am not giving and I am not looking to get anything either. Time enough we get back to the real reason for the celebrations.”
“You have a lot of things to consider here. Does he normally give you gifts for birthdays, Christmas, etcetera? Then if he usually does, accept the fact that he cannot give you something this year. Now if he is a cheap man and does not give you anything, then you know it is an excuse not to give you a gift this year.”
“If he is used to giving me gifts at Xmas and providing for me all through the year, maybe I would understand when he said things tight but not the tone it was said.”
“Don’t give him a present either!”
“This woman does not seem to have a good relationship with her partner. She knows him better than anyone else and should acknowledge if he is being selfish or not. Perhaps he is not the type who makes a fuss over Christmas. A lot of people are only providing for the children this Christmas, because of the economic squeeze. The two should agree to give it a miss this Christmas – if there is no money, there is none; and this woman should respect him. Personally I would not be upset.”
“As he said, things are tight, but he can give you a present after the holidays. You should know how his pocket is holding.”
“How do you persuade your partner that his approach is the wrong one? How is it wrong? If he does not have the funds to be able to buy you a present, then he does not have the funds – or is he supposed to go out and steal? There is more to Christmas than just a present.”
“This man needs to find himself an understanding woman. If someone says to their partner things are tight, why make a big fuss?”
