Dear Helen,
My husband and I have started having anal sex to spice up our love life more. I have grown to like it but I get a split or a tear just above my anus. I imagine it’s from the unaccustomed stretching in that area. What can I do to prevent this? – Adventurous wife. Dear Adventurous Wife,
Anal tissue is not designed to stretch in the same way as vulval and vaginal tissue, so tears do happen. Tears also happen when menopausal vulval tissue becomes less elastic, and is stretched during intercourse, too.
Anal sex is still illegal in Barbados and many places so I am merely answering in general. Someone undertaking this sexual activity should always take time and be fully relaxed before any attempt at penetration. Use copious amounts of condomfriendly lubricant – and, because of the bacterial mix in the rectum, he should use a condom routinely to protect his urethra, and remove it before any vaginal penetration if performing both activities, to protect that area from the bowel ‘bugs’ that are ‘safe’ there, but not necessarily anywhere else. Wear a new condom when reentering the anus to protect his urethra.
If you are tearing with blood that’s more than a tiny amount, please see your doctor and let them check in case you have haemorrhoids (piles) that may be tearing inside the anal canal or rectum during this stretching activity. You may need to have them treated to help the situation.
There are other anal conditions – anal fissures, anal fistulas and general skin conditions that need to be ruled out, too, so do yourself the favour of asking your doctor to check all is actually OK in that area. It’s embarrassing, yes, but ignoring something in the genital direction can be quite problematic in the future for some people.
I hope this helps. – Helen
