DEAR CHRISTINE, I read your column every day and I like the advice you give to the people who need it. Now I would like you to help me.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years. He is 26 and I am 22. He works and I don’t. My parents, seeing us together for so long, have been asking me when we are going to get married.
I tell them I don’t know – which is true, because sometime last year, we were talking about marriage and he said the two of us can’t get married because I don’t work and he is not working for a lot of money.
He also said that if we get married, some days we will not have anything to eat because of the bills to pay.
He also said that if I was working, he would go to the bank and borrow money to build a house, and while he is paying the bank and other bills, the money I work for would look after the food.
Christine, what my boyfriend is saying is true because when we get married, we want to be at ourselves. Still I don’t want to wait too long.
He says we will probably have to wait another five years and by that time I should get a job, but I don’t want to be going with him for ten years and not get married.
– P.P.
Dear P.P.,
I can see your parents’ concern about this young man. Five years is a long time to be going with someone and not be able to get married. I don’t suppose they relish the idea of providing for you while you play the role of a wife without the benefit of a marriage licence.
On the other hand, I admire his practical approach to the material responsibilities marriage will bring, and so the thing for you to do is to try earnestly to get that job. If you do, I don’t see why you should wait another five years for him to buy a house.
He should be able to rent one and save towards buying one later. I am always a little concerned about marriage coming off after years of living with each other. If this does not happen in the early part of the relationship, it rarely happens with the passage of time.
– CHRISTINE
