I AM a 25-YEAR-OLD FEMALE and I would earnestly like your help.
My boyfriend and I have been together for the past six years. He is 27 years old and is a car welder. I am a schoolteacher. Our problem arises because of our differences in value. He likes blue movies and nothing else. He also prefers to read sex magazines.
Christine, I do not act as though I am superior to him nor do I talk as though he is a child. Yet, I believe he sees me as a threat to his manhood.
When I want to discuss a problem, it soon ends up with him beating me and cuffing me all over my body as though he believes that beating a woman is a sign of manhood. He does not care for any recreational interests and activities such as sports and reading.
Christine, in spite of it all, I love him. I do not pressure him for marriage or anything. Is there any way for our relationship to be solved? I try to be diplomatic and pleasant during our differences but he insists on using his fists at all times.
I do not want to say that an educational background has anything to do with it, but sometimes I believe so, as he calls me “Miss Teacher” in a degrading way.
People who see us think we make a good team. They are not aware of any disadvantages or limitations as regards who does what job. I make it known that I am proud of him. Please tell me how I can help my boyfriend to be less cruel to me.
– G.H
Dear G.H:
You have me very angry. This man literally beats you with his fists and you are staying around hoping that he changes. You should be running, and running fast from this woman beater.
I’d like to help you to be less cruel to yourself. From what you have written, you’ve tried in every way to adjust to your differences, but meanwhile he insists in settling the arguments with cuffs and beating.
Lots of people live with folks who do not enjoy the same things they do, and they manage because of being tolerant. Fists are not used to defend differences of opinion.
As a teacher, you must have some academic intelligence; now you have to try and find some measure of common sense that will prove to you that a square peg cannot fit into a round hole.
You are too apart in your likes and dislikes and while you are prepared to be tolerant, he is not …Put the past six years down to experience and start looking around for someone who can appreciate you more. You deserve better in every sense of the word, but you need to first start loving yourself first. If you don’t you may end up as a statistic from his beatings. Enough said.
– CHRISTINE