ALL OF US have done things that we later regret. The mistake could be as simple as buying a disinfectant for someone who is allergic to the smell of the chemicals in that particular brand, when a quick phone call to the person could have avoided that situation. Or, using poor judgement while driving and causing a collision resulting in someone being injured or worse.
The point is, we all have done, and most likely will do in the future, some thoughtless, illogical and downright stupid thing. It is just one of the many frailties of being human.
The only thing one can do after making these mistakes is to learn from them and endeavour never to repeat them or a similar slip-up in the future. That was what I strived for until recently when I repeated the same error I made years before. That stupid action has resulted in me losing the love of the only woman I ever truly cared about other than my mother.
What did I do? I cheated on my partner. I went overseas with my pals to attend Carnival, followed their lead and had a casual affair.
It was the most foolish thing I have done in years. The thing is I did not need to do it because I only travelled for four days, so it wasn’t that I was hard-up for sex or anything. I just went with the flow and had the woman.
The fact that I had too much to drink did not help either. This is not an excuse. I am only acknowledging a contributing factor.
The thing is I knew from the time my friends invited those four women back to our hotel room for more drinks what was likely to happen. From experience I know those situations usually end one way, so I should have opted out then, but didn’t. I just mindlessly allowed myself to be sucked into the proceedings and willingly participated.
I felt guilty as hell afterwards, but the deed had already been done.
None of my buddies felt guilty though. Although married, the three of them regard that annual excursion as a time to hunt and conquer. And because they all have something to lose, they each knew their infidelity in Trinidad would remain a secret. It had for the four years they had been doing it up to then.
So I fell in line. I kept my mouth shut and within weeks I soon forgot my indiscretion. The only time I even remembered it was when the guys got together for drinks and talked about the fun we had on our trip.
The funny thing is that I too joined in the bravado. There was a feel of camaraderie about it. It made us all feel like young virile lions again, still able to conquer a sultry lioness. It was a tremendous feeling.
We held our limes at a particular shop which attracted a varied clientele. We spoke freely and loudly because we were always in a celebratory mood when we recalled those four days of fun and frolic.
But, as if God don’t like ugly, someone who knew my partner overheard the talk and informed her. She confronted me about it and initially I denied it. But determined to get the truth out of me, she threatened to tell the wives of my friends so they would know what their husbands were up to.
I could not let that happen to them. Having been through a messy divorce 14 years earlier I knew these guys could end up losing their houses and being separated from their children. Worse, they could lose the love of their wives, which each of them cherished.
I know this may sound like a contradiction, but the fact is that though many a man may cheat on his wife or live-in partner, that does not mean he does not love her. Most men often do it to satisfy a yearning deep within them – a chance to unleash the lustful dog within them, so to speak.
If you doubt me, ask most men if they cheated because they no longer wanted their wife or partner. I bet you many would say they did it just for the thrill of it.
I am not saying that such behaviour is right, but that is the reality for many men. But I digress.
As my partner threatened to destroy the lives of my friends if I did not own up to my deeds, I caved in and admitted. Of course, I apologised and begged for forgiveness, but she rejected my pleas and left me all alone. She was hurt like this before and warned me if I ever cheated on her, she would walk – and she kept her word.
I related my story so others would hopefully not make the mistakes I did. For starters, I failed to learn from a similar situation years earlier. Secondly, I followed others and did what I knew in myself was wrong. Third, I drank alcohol to the point that it impaired my judgment. And fourth, I bragged about my infidelity in public. One should never say anything in public that you would be wary of saying in private.
I hope those reading this would realise the importance of being faithful.
