Dear Christine,
I AM WRITING to you hoping some word of hope may be able to give me a little more faith.
I am 44, a mother of five children and have been with my husband for 25 years. During that time I had to make do and work very hard.
From the time my husband got a good job, he picked up with a woman. I never suspected until her mother and sisters started phoning home. I got suspicious and asked who she was and he owned up to having an affair with her.
She then started phoning and being abusive. I would cry and cry until I lost a lot of weight. He claims they are not together any longer but every day when he finishes work, he goes to her.
On Sundays and bank holidays, he’ll take her out first and then take out his family.
What should I do about this situation?
– J.P.
Dear J.P.,
Your husband is certainly behaving very irresponsible and risking what seems like a pretty nice family for a few kicks.
Part of loving is overlooking, ignoring or forgiving, but there is a limit to how far it would be fair to ask you to do these things.
I suspect you cannot or will not leave him easily because of all he means to you and because of the children. If you come to the point where you find yourself being destroyed by the situation, I would suggest you give him an ultimatum of going with the woman altogether or staying with you.
If he is not prepared to move out and you can afford to, then you do so. This may shock him into realising the pain he is inflicting and the grave risk he is taking with his family who somehow I feel he cares for, since he has not left home altogether.
For as long as possible, keep faith, which promises a brighter tomorrow.
– CHRISTINE