MAN LOOK, I remember when the Internet became popular and there was MSN Instant messenger. It was the easiest and cheapest way to keep in touch with people that were far or close and it seemed like it would have nothing but positive effects. But one day I heard someone say, “Dis messenger ting gine mek we foolish.”
Well, at that young age I could not understand how it was ever going to happen. Fast forward to today and I have lived to see that prophecy come through.
Smart phones
Every time I browse through Facebook and read some of these statuses a part of me dies slowly. You mean to tell me that in 2016 us humans have not mastered the use of words like you’re and your, nor their, there and they’re? How hard can it be? Why are dumpsy people using smart phones?
Then there are the abbreviations that take my life slowly. In no universe ever, has “am” been the shorter form of I’m. Use “am” in a sentence to substitute I’m and tell me how it sounds to you. Sentence: “Am” a goashemel for using “am” instead of I’m.
Let’s not mention those who use words they can’t spell. Elongated sigh. While browsing I came across Alonzo Lerone on YouTube, he and I share the same confusion over humans. Here are some of the posts he came across:
1. “Couldn’t have amagined this day without y’all”
2. “August 22th 2015.”
3. “Omw to meet my son teacher and to intend open house I’m gone be that parent who intends every event and school play lol I’m hone be a parent committee member . . . ”
4. “Think ive just got sam and ella from a creme egg”
This next post was actually a note to someone who stole tabasco sauce. If you doubt me ask me.
“You maybee the lowest stealing the tobasco souce that was purchest for every one to use . . . if you have any morales please return it. You do now you where on camra. So we do know.”
Please fix it Jesus. It doesn’t stop there because others post things that make no sense at all.
1. “I was born in British but I speak ameican.”
2. “If you got life in jail, but died only temporarily, did you serve your sentence?”
Clear evidence
3. “Can’t wait till my sister gives birth so I can see if I will be an uncle or aunty.”
This is clear evidence that goashemels have been given Internet access and I think we either need to go back to hand written letters or we need to have a licence to use the Internet cause this is madness.
I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.
• Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com