Dear Christine,
I LOVE TO READ YOUR COLUMN – even at 80 years old. I also love a good laugh and have a great sense of humour.
Recently, I came across some “You know you’re getting old when . . .” and thought I’d share them with those who know they are getting older and can do with a hearty smile or laugh.
I hope you can print them. Maybe they will make someone else’s day a whole lot happier.
You know you’re getting old when:
• You feel like the morning after when you haven’t been anywhere the night before.
• You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions.
• You get winded playing checkers.
•Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• You need a fire permit to light all of your birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out.
• You sink your teeth into a thick steak and they stay there.
• You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again.
• You don’t need an alarm clock to get up with the chickens.
• Your pacemaker opens the garage door whenever a cute guy goes by.
• The only whistles you get are from a tea kettle.
• You finally get it all together, but can’t remember where you put it.
• Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
• Your little black book contains only names ending with M.D.
• You look forward to a dull evening.
• You join a health club and never go.
• You need glasses to find your glasses.
• You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
• Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.
• You have too much room in the house, and not enough in the medicine chest.
• You put your house keys inside the refrigerator.
•You bend down to pick something off the floor and it takes a long time to get back up.
• You think being asked to choose a hymn in church, means choosing a “him.”
• You introduce your son to someone as, “My son, the grandfather of …”
• The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
• You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays . . .”
• Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
• You have a party and the neighbours don’t even realise it.
•People call at 8 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
• It takes twice as long to look half as good.
• The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
• You realise that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
•You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
I hope my “little pointers” provide some humour or at least add to the lighter side of life.
– Madeline
Dear Madeline,
Thanks for taking time to write. I believe your “little pointers” – as you called them – will bring a smile to someone’s face.
They certainly brought one to mine.
– CHRISTINE
