DEAR CHRISTINE, I FEEL like a wife scorned by my husband’s relatives.
I have been married for 12 years and have never been able to establish a close relationship with my in-laws. They have always gone out of their way to exclude me from family conversations and gatherings.
They are very attentive toward my children, but they made it clear to me a long time ago that I am not welcome in their presence. I’m sick of it.
My husband is no help at all. He has private conversations with his parents, and it’s like pulling teeth to get him to share any details with me. His family gets together for shopping trips, Bible seminars and even getaway cruises. I am never included.
I am a likeable person, Christine. I have many loyal, longtime friends and acquaintances. It’s a mystery to me why my in-laws aren’t kinder and more inclusive. As time goes by, it gets worse and worse.
I love my children and my husband, but he is becoming more like them, and I feel increasingly isolated. I am desperately lonely for family fun and inclusiveness. Is this normal?
– P.G.
Dear P.G.,
No! This is not normal. It’s disrespectful, rude and impolite. Your husband needs to stand by your side and defend you. He is to “leave and cleave”. Obviously, this umbilical cord between him and his parents has not been cut.
Does he actually go on cruises, Bible seminars and shopping trips with his relatives and leave you behind? I cannot believe this actually happens. After 12 years of marriage? Something is not adding up here. Is he an only son? It’s just wrong for him to accept their attitude and behaviour towards you. I wonder what it would be like for him if the shoe was on the other foot.
You need to speak to your husband about your feelings, although I believe you already have, and if he does not see the need to take a stand concerning their behaviour towards you, you must decide if you want to remain in such a stress-filled environment for the rest of your life.
It could be that you’ll be better off without him and his family. Stop being sick of the situation and do what is best right now for you and your health.
– CHRISTINE
