Mock everything in style

It mock, it mock, it mock, it mock, mockDe hair, de hair de hair de girls got . . . .These two popular lines from a Madd calypso of some years ago were but the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the mock necessities that women are flocking to stores and purchasing.A few months ago we told you about the “mock botsies”, and investigations have revealed that sales have soared since then.Those who didn’t have them before, on reading the article, were in no way embarrassed about going to The City and seeking them out.One woman who was caught waiting in line while carrying two mock botsies, one beige and one black, told the SATURDAY SUN boldly: “Everybody wearing them, so why not me too?”Although men cannot tell who is wearing one from who is not, they are quite suspicious of almost every woman whose rear-end looks “bigger than normal”.But women are wearing not only mock botsies but “mock everyt’ing else under the sun”, as someone put it.Let’s start from the head!Ninety-five per cent of the time, the beautiful head of hair women are wearing is not theirs. Although many effectively blend the artificial with their own hair, which most of the time is damaged by all the glue and wigs, the fact remains the same – they bought it! So if you see long and wavy, short and bouncy, Afro-like, or Jheri curls or hair that looks freshly roller set, don’t be fooled!Then there are the fake eye colours.Most of us are blessed with either black or brown eyes, but there are those among us who must have blue, grey, hazel, almond, you name it, by putting in contact lenses in all colours.Let’s not forget one of the latest crazes: mock eyelashes.For those who want the extended, long, flashy look, eyelashes can now be bought too! But those extra long ones look ridiculous and spell “false” from a mile away.From what this writer has heard and seen, they can be quite a nuisance if not applied correctly, often causing the owner a great deal of pain and sometimes swollen eyelids.It’s not a pretty sight as some people who cannot remove them correctly walk around with extra pieces of long eyelashes jutting out or hanging on (for dear life?) to their eyelids.Then there’s the padded bra for those women who are not too busty but want to “big up” themselves in that department.Thanks to the Victoria Secrets Miraculous Push-Up Bra and many other brands, Bajan women are now sporting more cleavage – which is lost in the bedroom when that moment comes.We can’t forget to mention the waist trimmers or “belly bands”, which are said to give women that curvy figure, and pull in rolls of unnecessary fat for that sexier look.These, too, are a main accessory in many wardrobes, and there are those who hold them just as close to their hearts as mock botsies are held by others.Flashy fake nails are another addition on which some women spend over a $100 monthly to accessorise themselves. These can also cause the owner much pain at the slightest touch when she accidentally hits anything too hard.So, men, now there’s more for you to wonder about! It’s like Jeckyll and Hyde – two completely different people when all the “mockies” are removed.