Dear Christine, I HAVE been living with my lover for seven years.We were both married before and are in the twilight of our years.We met years ago after his wife died and I was at the time recently separated from my husband.We formed a bond which grew into love and eventually we moved in together. Our families get on very well. I get on well with his children and he with mine.But, Christine, something is bothering me.For five of these seven years I was still married to my husband. We were separated, but not divorced. Two years ago the divorce finally came through.Here I was thinking that once my divorce came through we would get married. However, I am so disappointed that after two years of my divorce becoming final, my lover has not proposed.We are both retired. We travel a lot. Go on cruises and really live a wonderful life, but there is still something missing.He just won’t ask me to marry him. In fact, he doesn’t even hint at it, or discuss it.Christine, do you think I should bring it up? I understood why we couldn’t get married before, but now that we are both free, I am not sure what the problem is. You would think that after seven years of living together his mind would be made up about me.I feel very secure. I don’t think that he would leave me, but I want to marry this man.Do you think I should bring up the subject?– MARRYING KIND Dear Marrying Kind,I think you should.You appear to have a stable relationship and he may just be taking the situation for granted.He is comfortable and happy and is probably very unaware of how you feel.In his mind you’re “already married”.Bring up the subject gently, or even jokingly and see how he reacts. Say something like: “Will we ever get married? We are getting old.” Or: “When we get married, perhaps we can go cruising for our honeymoon.”Or you can be more direct and tell him outright that you’d like to get married.You know him better than I do; you would know the best approach. But there’s absolutely no harm in bringing it up.– CHRISTINE
