DEVELOPING a stress-mitigating lifestyle takes time and effort and is initially somewhat like Buckley’s cough mixture: it tastes awful, but it works! Awful, but consider the rewards: satisfying relationships, better control of our lives, peace with ourselves, a simplified life cleared of clutter. Less worry, less hurry, less hassle. And what’s more, it can spare us lots of pain and heartache – literally!
A stress-mitigating lifestyle is not a destination. No matter how long we work at it, we never fully arrive, but we certainly make strides. This happens only when we begin to see the bigger picture and to recognize the value of working not only towards being our best selves, but also towards developing friendly, supportive relationships.
The matter of stress control becomes easier when we embrace the fact that we need each other and we need our emotions – all of them.
A foolproof way of doing this is to begin to put warmth and life into interpersonal relationships. Anger is not the only acceptable emotion. It’s okay to get excited. It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to cry. God did not make tears by accident, nor did He give us laughter only to be indulged in while sitting in front of a screen. The Bible assures us that a merry heart is as healing as any medicine, a fact which is as true now as it was 900 years before Christ.
Stewart Wolf, an internationally acclaimed physician who, during the period 1935-1984, studied the value of supportive relationships as a protective factor in preventing stress-related illnesses, recognized the fact that “people are nourished by other people”. What a contrast to the things we so often hear: “I does keep to meself; nobody ain’ keeping no secrets fi mi.” And so we close ourselves even to those who should be closest to us. This type of behaviour is, in fact, setting oneself up for chronic stress.
When we alienate ourselves from others and even from our own emotions, our bodies keep score. Too much stress for too long with too little support and the best of us cave in.It is just as impossible to live a life predominated by negative emotions without disturbing our sleep patterns, giving ourselves a series of tension headaches and a generous serving of digestive and other problems.
Stress-mitigating lifestyle
We become stressed out when we feel either unable to meet the demands of a given situation or unwilling to muster the emotional, psychological or physical strength to do so. Managing stress therefore entails taking the time to get acquainted with ourselves – the things that irritate us and those things that calm us; our strengths, weaknesses, values, perceptions, attitudes and patterns of thought and behaviour. Once we understand these, then we are better equipped to navigate a world that unfailingly offers more than we can accept and demands more than we can give.
One of the most basic ways of ensuring that we are well equipped for the daily hassles of life is to take care of our physical bodies by observing the NERD (Nutrition, Exercise, Rest and Relaxation) principle. Maintaining good NERD habits will call for discipline with regard to decision-making. Imagine how much more healthy Barbados would be if more people made the conscious decision to slow down on fast foods and realize that meals-on-the-run and midnight munchies just don’t cut it!
Developing a stress-mitigating lifestyle is about knowing ourselves, recognizing the stress in our own lives and doing something positive to either prevent it, tolerate it or use it to our advantage.
Ever seen the T-shirt that boasts “It’s all about me”? Well, here’s the running headline on the New Day news: It’s not all about you. That’s the philosophy of the rat race. But as one of my favourite bumper stickers declares: “The rat race is over; the rats won.” And if there is another race, the rats will win again. The answer? Get out of the rat race. You don’t have to keep up with the Joneses either. If you must compete, compete against your best self and make sure that you win or at least come a close second.
