THIS past couple ah weeks I did outa de state, as in over in away, in Amurca and den in de English-speaking Central American Caribbean country of Belize and what a few days it was.
Don’t mind wuh nobody tell yuh, Bajan and Caribbean people luv Amurca and wherever de Vendor went, yuh could hear and see Bajans, Trinis, Lucians, Jamaicans buying out de stores.
We Caribbean people got real talk but when yuh see we get by security at Miami International Airport, we quiet as a mouse.
A Bajan lass ask, “Market, wuh dat is we gwine through?”
Ah tell she is de new body scanner which does see through all de clothing!
“See through de clothing? Everything, Market?”
“Everything,” ah tell she.
“Even Miss Mavis?”
“Yes, girl, even Miss Mavis gwine get expose.”
“Well, not me,” she declare. “I will not be having that!”
Ah explain to de lady that we men gwine go through de same thing and dat de Vendor tookoolooks will also get expose. By now de woman breathing fire and I swear she and the security people coming to blows. But meek and mild like a lamb she went through de scanner – Miss Mavis expose, de Tookoolooks too, but I ain’t bother wid dat. I rather them see it than feel it.
De truth is doh that when yuh travelling dese days, all yuh privacy expose. And iffing yuh bag over the allowed 50 pounds, look fuh a cool hundred dollars fuh de overweight! The trick is to always got a light canvas bag to put overweight in, ’cause iffing yuh got to pay it is cheaper to pay fuh an extra bag at $30 than to pay over a hundred in overweight!
Dis past week ah had de pleasure of meeting the Honourable Prime Minister of Belize, Dean Barrow, a very cool guy. Belize is a beautiful place and wid all de Cayes, plus the second largest barrier reef in de world, it is a place of unspoilt beauty. But just like de rest ah we, it got problems wid drugs, crime and violence.
Ambergris Caye, aka San Pedro, is developing real fast. Yuh could buy a two-room condo pun de beach fuh BDS$450 000! I eat lobster till ah fed up fuh breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ah buy it and cook it, and it cheap, cheap, cheap.
But once again I feel like me and hurricanes pun a collision course. Dis is the fourth time that hurricanes come and find me in a Caribbean country. De last was in Cuba in ’08. Thankfully, dis time it fizz out by landfall.
I met a Belizean fella named Norman, who should be a poster boy fuh NISE. Norman was de guy who tek my order on de telephone fuh groceries and deliver them to de apartment and when I ask de man wha was he fee fuh de delivery part, he say nothing!
“What so special ’bout dat?” yuh say. Well, de supermarket where Norman does work did not have some items, so Norman went and find them from fruit vendors, purchase them wid he own money and bring them to me.
Of course, ah didn’t let de man leave without treating him right. This simple guy showed me that yuh don’t have to have no fancy training to know how to treat people. A fine ambassador of Belize, Norman!
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now; you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
