Dear Christine,
ABOUT a year ago I met a guy, and we exchanged numbers to keep in touch.
I asked him if he had a girlfriend or wife and he said, “No.” He added that after five years together, he and his girlfriend had broken up about a year prior.
He told me it was his fault, but he really did love her and was still in love with her. He also said he could not bear to see her with another man. I could see he was hurting, but I told him that life must go on and don’t give up hope.
Christine, I did not have a boyfriend when we met, and so we formed a relationship.
About six months into the relationship he started to complain, even about my body and told me he would like me to see his ex-girlfriend. He said she had a beautiful body and called her his prize lady.
I told him that everyone cannot be the same, and asked him if he loves me.
He did not answer and sought to change the topic. Things between us continued and I tried to hang in there, even with his complaining. I bought him all sorts of gifts, but he could not accept them. I really cared for him.
He soon started complaining about my children and said his ex-girlfriend had two wonderful children. I told him to go and find her and start back a relationship with her. I asked him if I was wasting my time and he said, “Maybe”. That hurt.
I also asked him if he would ever marry me, and he said the only person he would ever marry was his ex.
He was attending a family member’s wedding recently and I asked him if I could accompany him.
He did not want that, but I went along anyway. From the moment he saw his ex-girlfriend at the wedding he became happy and excited. He went off with her and his family was all over her, hugging and kissing her and dropping all kinds of remarks to me.
I was so hurt that I left the wedding. I did not hear or see him for three weeks.
I then called and asked him if our relationship was over. He told me we were never in a relationship, and that he still love his ex-girlfriend.
Christine, I now understand that they are together again in full. Recently, I called his home and she answered the telephone. I also called his cellphone sometime after and asked to speak to him. She said he could not take the call, so I left a message.
Christine, yes, she is beautiful, and has a good body but I want that man.
Please help! I am really hurting and jealous.
– G
Dear G,
While I can understand your hurt, I hope you appreciate the fact that I could not carry your letter in full, as some information was quite damaging.
From the onset, this man told you he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend, but you did not pay attention to this declaration. He also told you she was the only woman he would ever marry. I would think that after making this absolutely clear, you would have left him there and then.
Why are you still hanging around? Leave them alone and get on with your life. I gather that he never saw you as more than just a friend – certainly not his girlfriend.
Do not seek revenge. Judging from your letter, including the information which I have not printed, this man was mean to you and disrespected you in more ways than one. Why would you want to be with someone who does not love or appreciate you?
The friendship you had with him was nothing more than a short episode in the days of your life. Ask God to give you the strength to rise above this episode; learn from all that’s happened; take some time to love yourself and your children more, and look ahead for a better, brighter future. You will certainly never have one with him.
– CHRISTINE
