We have now come to grips with the fact the exorcists won’t work. So we are looking to the marshals.
But we are a tad unsure. We will need a committee to work out who should be a marshal, how tall or short he or she should be, the skin tone. And whether he or she believes in corporal punishment in schools; or in capital punishment period.
The committee will also need to know whether such potential marshal is pro-Government and pro-Constituency Council, or pro-Opposition and anti-Mia. The committee will make up Minister of Education Ronald Jones’ mind whom to saddle with the monthly bill.
This committee, which one can be assured will be overburdened by numbers, will explore whether the marshal should be accompanied by a prayer warrior, or a Glock.
For heaven’s sake, if Minister Jones believes we should have on the school bus a marshal with a big iron on his hip, let’s get on with it.
But truth be told, we are dealing with all this bad behaviour of school students in spurts and quarters. These knee-jerks aren’t helping anybody.
The root of the problem is that we are really not talking about instilling discipline in our young boys and girls holistically. The disconcerting snake The Hooligan – much like the mythological Hydra – raises an ugly head, and we are into decapitating.
The thing is when we take off a head, another two take its place.
This sad state of affairs began when we decided we should be First World. Nothing less than the latest gadgetry would do, and computer technology would be our redeeming saviour.
We didn’t have to think our problems through any more or believe in anything; the Internet could provide us with a multiplicity of options: on being a Prime Minister; a Minister of Education; a gay rights advocate; a gigolo.
The Net could show us how not to run a Government and how to fracture an Opposition.
And the Net is not unknown to show the worst ways of raising your child.
In the First World it is infra dig to spank a disobedient child; to raise your voice to the little devil isn’t even kosher. You send him to his bedroom with a Star Wars computer game instead and have him blow his enemies to smithereens. You don’t beat him; you let him beat the crap out of others instead.
Now we are complaining as he transliterates this on the school bus.
Politicians, pretending to be savvy and knowledgeable, hoping for future votes and courting delinquents (take Prime Minister Freundel Stuart out of this), propose negotiation with the bad-behaved and the “demon-possessed”.
The message is no longer “Stop that!”. This is old hat and archaic. State-of-the-heart communication has become the thing: “Cool it, dude.” “Can we confabulate?” “What do you think?”
What could a brat be thinking after busting loose another’s head? Or robbing his schoolmate of the only lunch he will have for the day?
But the one big question is: is the concern really about saving the angels from the devils on the school bus, or rescuing the bus from damage – and expense to the Transport Board . . . sorry, the Government? Did you notice arithmetic keeps coming up?
Mr Jones has some concern about the cost of employing the marshals and who should pay for them. Poor taxpayers! I didn’t know, when it came to paying, that there was a difference between the Ministry of Education and Transport Board, and the taxpayers.
We need to get back to basics. Discipline, discipline everywhere! From parent, teacher and student. Parents who instil vagabondness in their children or ignore it should be sent to Dodds; teachers who neglect their duty should be fired; and politicians who curry favour with the delinquent parent or child should be voted out of office.
A little spanking from teacher won’t kill, but the sharp-edged blade of a student in class, or on the bus, will – sooner or later.
I don’t know what the marshal will do that any police officer can’t. The bus driver is responsible for all behaviour on his bus. If he can’t handle it, drive the bus into the police station.
We keep creating other problems to solve the one before. Political crassitude!
