LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES, and while we are all free to make our own choices, we still need to recognize that sometimes the things we do and say affect others.
Also, we need to be able to accept the consequences of the decisions we make.
Single people, in particular, tend to make decisions without much reference to others, as the ties that bind are not there. In essence, there is the freedom more or less to do what you like.
Still, even in those circumstances, it is still important to consider the feelings of others.
That said, though, in the pursuit of happiness and joy and love, some follow the pebbled path with no reference to others. After all, this is your life.
Bear this in mind as we weigh in on this week’s Secret’s Corner question: A woman is angry that her former lover is now involved with her son’s girlfriend. She thinks it is wrong that the two should be together, given the 17-year gap between them, as well as the fact that he knew the girl was intimate with her son. So we ask: Is it wrong for a stepfather to get involved with his stepson’s former girlfriend?
In considering this scenario, we need to realize that as angry as this woman is, the reality is she is no longer involved with the man who is now seeing her son’s one-time girlfriend.
First thing first: the woman’s claim that it is wrong for her ex-lover and son’s ex-girlfriend to be together because of a 17-year gap is utter nonsense.
Age has nothing to do with it. As we all know, love has no barriers.
However, the second reason given might hold more water.
This man knew that the girl he is now involved with was intimate with his ex-lover’s son. A little too close for comfort, some would say.
What probably has this woman so angry is the fact that this new love relationship is too much under her nose, and more difficult to ignore.
The woman’s son must also be going through his fair share of turmoil, too, coming to terms with this new relationship with the man that once was involved with his own mother.
While we are all free to choose and cannot choose for each other, and only ourselves, the reality is that sometimes these decisions bring pain to others. Still, the reality is that people have to live their lives.
The only caution is that we should try to lessen the pain for others and try not to intentionally hurt as we pursue love and happiness.
This is how some readers felt about this situation.
-“In all honesty, the young man isn’t his stepson anymore, and the girl is single. Even though it may strike a bit of a sore spot for both the woman and her son, it isn’t about either of them anymore, and no one’s cheating on anyone’s mother or anyone’s son. Let them be.”
-“The gap is 17 years. In a decade or so we will find out if it was true love or lust. In the meantime, allow the two to have their fun.”
– “That woman has opinions on things that are none of her business. What does it matter if both the former relationships are over?”
– From the question, I am getting that the girl and the son done. Also the mother and the man, so who cares? Let them go and do what they feel like.”
– He is not the stepfather anymore; neither is the girl with the son, so what difference does it make?”