SOMETIMES in life we tend to get a little ahead of ourselves.
This happens particularly when something new and fresh and exciting is happening in our lives.
It can be dizzying.
And, usually, this happens when it is something different or something considered taboo that holds our attention and captivates our minds, sending us into a giddy tailspin.
We all long for the exciting experiences that take us away from the humdrum of daily life and routine.
Escapism can sometimes be such a welcome departure from the norm.
But even as we try to escape, it is necessary to “slow our roll” and get back to the reality of life, ensuring that balance is maintained.
This may well have been what happened with the young lady in this week’s Secrets’ Corner scenario who was quickly getting swept up in the whirlwind of a fantasy with another woman.
This week’s question is: A female caller wants to know how to handle her feelings for a co-worker. She is attracted to this woman because of her physical beauty and kindness. The woman gave her a peck on the lips for her recent birthday and she tingled all over. But, as she has never had a relationship with someone of the same sex, she is not quite sure how to handle her emotions, or if the woman even feels the same thing towards her. How should she proceed?
The simple and basic answer is: “With caution”.
This woman should try hard not to get ahead of herself.
Based on the scenario outlined, the woman only gave you a peck on the lips for the birthday. This could be innocent enough. In fact, the caution would be not to read too much into this.
Do you know much about this woman, except the fact that you are attracted to her? Do you know what her lifestyle is? And what about you? Perhaps this might be a chance to examine if you are more attracted to women than to men. There is the strong possibility, too, that this woman may have meant absolutely nothing at all by this gesture.
Realize, too, that the feelings are basically one-sided. You are the only one having these feelings, and these should be kept to yourself unless the other party involved indicates a mutual interest. Why open up yourself to what has the potential to be an embarrassing situation or one that could be blown out of proportion?
While the thought of having a relationship with someone of the same sex may seem enticing, you should first be sure that the feelings are reciprocal.
Enjoy the fantasy and relive the moment in your head and smile when you remember it. But until you know where you stand with this woman and are sure this is the lifestyle you want to pursue, it might be better for you to just keep your cool.
This is what some other readers had to say.
– “She should not proceed. Sexual relationships in the workplace are inappropriate, whether it’s a same-sex relationship or otherwise.”
– “Well, I say proceed with caution, keeping in mind the saying ‘don’t s**t where you eat’ – especially with another woman. Sorry, but we females can be a bit more emotional and vindictive if a romance doesn’t work out. And a few lesbians have told me that things roll pretty fast in lesbian relationships. They move in with each other right away, etcetera.”
– “Also, is she gay or is she someone who identifies as heterosexual and is simply attracted to this one particular woman?”
– “My dear, I have a few questions for you. What are you looking for from this lady who gave you a peck on the lips? Are you gay? Is this lady gay? Is it all about sex with you? Do you want a relationship with her if she is gay and single? If she’s not gay or single and it was just a harmless peck, would you stalk and corner her for another kiss? Because right now I honestly don’t even think you know what you are feeling. So my advice to you is this: until you have found out from this lady if she’s even interested in you as a lover/companion, you should keep your feelings to yourself and if by chance she is, I do hope you both can handle the outcome of a relationship like this in this so-called Christian society of ours – not to mention the workplace.”
