Boy, I gine tell ya, tings ain’t only brown, it rough, it dim and money tight as France tuh come by.
Look, when people talk ‘bout things being rough or brown, most o’ the time some people does start tuh think ‘bout duh guts and the supermarket; but dat goes wid-out saying, evahbody feeling the pinch o’ the supermarkets, dat one is a no-brainer.
Just look around, though, and you gine see exactly what I mean.
Now look, it is the Christmas season and tuh be exact, the week before Christmas and if you see four houses wid lights on pon dem, you good.
All like now so, you would be seeing all types o’ lights twinkling and flashing all round people houses tuh herald in the festive season.
The only decorations I seeing pon people houses is a whole lot o’ bows and bells hanging, like the ones dat was selling at the three-dollar stores.
My dear, dem doan pull nuh electricity, hear?
Nor duh doan blow, so you could keep dem from year tuh year once ya put dem up good.
Ya’all know wha’ I talking bout too.?All like now so, people would be pulling off and lining up longside the road tuh check out the decorations and beautiful lighting display o’ dat big lovely house up there pon the highway going up tuh Redman Village.
All like now so, all the Christmas trees would be done sell out and a few people would be still hunting ‘bout fuh the li’l straggly ends dat get left back after all the full lovely ones get haul off as soon as duh land.
All like now so, the newspapers would be suh burst wid the lot o’ ads ‘bout competitions and giveaways from the stores dat ya won’t even be able tuh squeeze in six good paragraphs from this column.
I tell wunna, things brown. The only things you seeing plenty of is people from the Salvation Army at every shop, supermarket and store door wid duh li’l red hanging pots, ringing duh bells and asking fuh donations evahtime ya pass.
The other things dat plentiful is the African snails dat nuh matter wha’ kinda bait ya feed dem wid, duh gobbling up and multiplying ovah night.
Then, there is the monkeys dat won’t leh ya raise nuh kinda fruit nor vegetables.
Ya cahn even say ya trying tuh catch any o’ dem tuh say dat ya could make a meal out tuh dem like in some countries. Dem too plentiful and multiplying ovah night.
The thieves plentiful too, ya hear? Ting, ya does have tuh be looking out fuh dem nowadays like how ya does be doing wid the flies and mosquitoes, dem other plentiful pests; who, as soon as ya barely leave a li’l crease in ya window or door, duh bonging in ya place and doing as duh like wid you and ya things.
Well, I have tuh say dat the rain was plentiful fuh this whole year, we cahn complain bout dat.
What we would have tuh complain ‘bout is the lot o’ grass and bush dat does rise up ovah night after the rain done fall and nuh matter how much mowing and weed-whacking ya do, all of a sudden the sun does stop shining, outside does get black, black, black, more rain does tumble down again and all o’ dat bush and grass dat you just brek ya back and chop down, does be back up in the air again.
But ya know something dat real, real plentiful? Um is the traffic, yes, the traffic.
Look, we got endless vehicles ‘bout here pon the roads, hear? Look, one time it used tuh take about ten tuh 15 minutes tuh get from Black Rock tuh Bridgetown, but nowadays wid the amount o’ vehicles pon the roads, Sunday tuh Sunday, nuh matter what day of the week it is, make up ya mind dat it gine be half an hour tuh 45 minutes.
Look, we running outta roads and space but the vehicles still selling like hot cakes.
I ain’t know wha’ some people getting the money from tuh buy dem but dem multiplying pon the roads.
Tuh tell ya the trute, I pray dat things make haste and turn ‘round, hear wha’ I tell ya ‘cause I ain’t like scratching out the two grains o’ hair I got pon muh head.
Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.