Wednesday, April 17, 2024

MAVIS BECKLES: Roundabout madness


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I would really like tuh know who does stan’ up, lie down, walk ’bout or sit down and come up wid these grand ideas and plans fuh the roads, especially the roundabouts in Barbados.
I would also like tuh know how duh does arrive at the decisions they make, and if it is one body or more than one body who does be having the last say.
Another thing I would like tuh find out is if it does be men and women who does put duh heads together; all men or all women (not in your dreams – can’t be) who does make up the group, the committee, the organization, the company or wha’evah else ya does call it dat would introduce and get people tuh agree wid these grand ideas fuh roundabouts.
Look, I doan care wha’ nuhbody say, whoevah duh is dat does be making all o’ these crazy plans fuh the roads o’ Barbados could do as duh like fuh now,
but I got one thing tuh say tuh wunna people who got all the big lot o’ road planning brains, certificates and qualifications in roadworks and design dat nuh matter who say otherwise, at the end of the day wunna gine still have tuh resort tuh the flyovers or overpass or wha’evah ya does call dem.
Now I ain’t down in the Orleans much. I up in the Black Rock area close tuh St James fuh a li’l while now and I used tuh find it quite easy and convenient tuh pop ovah University Hill tuh do some business like banking, hardware, supermarket, gift shops and such like in the Warrens area. Ya know up there got evah kinda thing now?
But I ain’t telling you no lie: it used tuh be so refreshing not tuh have tuh hustle into town fuh evahthing ya want. Not now, soul. Not anymore.
Somebody came up wid the grand idea tuh make the roundabout there in front o’ Simpson Motors and Shell service station look like it pregnant.
Somebody come up wid the super idea dat if ya expand the roundabout pon one side, the traffic dat does burst through there on a regular basis would flow freely, morning noon and night.
Well, I’m going tuh have tuh tell you this: they lied.
Look, I thought the St Thomas roundabout was big and clumsy, but this one takes the cake. Ask anybody who does have tuh use dat on a regular basis how dem does feel when dem approaching dat roundabout. I am sure they would tell you dat it is scary as hell. You does have tuh have ya two eyeballs open wide, wide, wide, looking from side tuh side in ya wing mirrors and rear-view mirrors fuh anybody who might be still trying tuh fly through there like before, and all the time still trying tuh look at the line markings in the road tuh make sure you in the correct lane.
Now, most o’ the time when I have tuh go ovah there, I does come down the hill and hold the right lane close tuh the roundabout and the Shell station ’cause ya does have tuh move off from there real hard as you got real ground tuh cover tuh get round it.
But lemmuh tell ya: if you miss and end up in the outer lane, the left lane, the lane closer tuh Simpson Motors and heading in an easterly direction, God help ya. The people coming down dat hill from Redman Village does be boring tuh get cross tuh Chefette, the service station, the bank or wherevah else, and because you suh wide, the traffic now coming from the service station area does be on pon ya tail like a tick – and blowing too.
Dat is why duh does have so many accidents in dat area ’cause if you is one o’ dem frighten drivers, you would panic and freak tuh France out.
Doan talk ’bout down in there behind KFC and all dem new tall buildings at all. Duh got a riffle o’ li’l roundabouts and a million and one arrows pointing all ’bout the place and causing all kinda confusion down behind there.
Every evening at every single roundabout there does be bumper tuh bumper traffic most o’ the time in both directions. The traffic dat getting off at certain roundabouts block up, and the ones dat ain’t stopping but going all the way through tuh the north block up too.
Now if ya’all can’t see, let me tell you. There is no more room pon the ground tuh accommodate all the cars, heavy duty trucks, buses, minibuses and ZRs, sugar cane tractors and trailers, SUVs or jeeps.
It is either wunna stop selling vehicles or put some kinda roads in the air.


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