Dear Christine,
I am in my late 40s and I am perfectly healthy. I have been able over the past few years to pull out of the grief of losing my husband.
My children, who are teenagers, are sulking and showing in every way possible that they do not want me to get married again.
Up until quite recently, this was no problem, since I was not interested in anyone. Actually, for a long time, I never thought I could become interested in anyone. Time as you know, takes care of everything.
There was nothing I could do to bring my darling husband back. At first, I was like a stone statue. I did nothing and showed little interest in anything.
My group at church soon pulled me out gradually and I was glad to be in contact with other people. In time, I met a very devout member of my church who loves me and whom I have grown to love in return.
My children object to this. Is there any way you can suggest that I can make them understand that I am not ready to be put out to graze like some old horse?
– S
Dear S,
Sometimes, even when a husband or wife has died, the surviving spouse who remarries or shows an interest in someone else, is still viewed as cheating the partner who has died. Children tend to think this way – and especially teenagers.
You must show them that in time they will be leaving home and you will need companionship.
Do not give up your friend because they do not think it is right for you to love someone again. You cannot sell yourself short. There is a limit to which you can give yourself to them without depriving yourself entirely of a special friendship such as this one.
It’s best that you sit down and have a frank discussion with them about your own needs.
– CHRISTINE