Parents play an important role in preventing substance use by their children by creating relationships that allow open discussions and by giving them the facts before they are in risky situations.
Teens and young people who are not comfortable talking to their parents, are likely to seek answers elsewhere, even if their sources are unreliable. Those who are not properly informed are at greater risk of engaging in unsafe behaviours and experimenting with drugs. Parents who are educated about the effects of drug use and the facts can help correct misconceptions their children may have.
Preschool to Age 6 years
From an early age, lay the groundwork for discussions. For example, whenever you give a fever medication or an antibiotic to your child, use the opportunity to discuss the benefits and appropriate and responsible use of those drugs. This is also a time when your child is likely to be attentive to your behaviour and guidance.
Take advantage of “teachable moments”; that is, every day occurrences that can be used to develop a larger conversation about a topic. For example, if there is character on a TV show with a cigarette, talk about smoking, and what smoking can do to a person’s body. This can lead into a discussion about other drugs and how they can cause harm.
Keep the tone of these discussions calm and use terms that your child can understand.
Ages 7 to 12 years
As your kids grow older, you can begin conversations with them by asking them their thoughts about drugs. By asking questions in a non-judgmental, open-ended way, you are more likely to get an honest response. It is important to get a sense of what they understand.
During these ages, children are usually still willing to talk openly to their parents about touchy subjects. Establishing an open relationship and dialogue now helps keep the door open. As children get older they may be less inclined to share their thoughts and feelings.
Role playing can help your child develop strategies to turn down drugs if they are offered. Act out possible scenarios they may encounter. Helping them construct responses to say “no” prepares them to respond before they are in that situation.
Even if questions do not immediately result in a discussion, you will get your children thinking about the issue. If you show your child that you are willing to discuss the topic and listen to them, they might be more willing to come to you for help in the future.
Again, use “teachable moments” such as newspaper reports, song lyrics, television, movies and everyday occurrences as springboards for casual conversations about current events. Use these discussions to give information about the risks of drugs with focus on the facts about different substances.
Ages 13 to 17
During the teen years, young people are likely to know peers who have experimented with alcohol or other drugs. Many are still willing to express their thoughts or concerns with parents about it.
Initiate conversations by clearly stating your concerns and rules as the parent about substance use, or by asking in a non-judgmental way about their thoughts about substance use. Use these conversations not only to understand your teen’s thoughts and feelings, but also to talk about some other consequences, including the dangers of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol or the legal issues of possession or sale of drugs.
Consider establishing a verbal or written contract on your rules about going out or driving or being driven. You can promise to collect your teen from a party at any time – no questions asked – if they call you when the person responsible for driving has been drinking or using other drugs.
By discussing all of this with your teens from the start, you eliminate surprises and make your expectations clear.
Starting the conversation with pre-teens and teens
State clearly your family’s rules about substance use and drugs and explain each rule. Allow your teen to be engaged in the discussion. Children and teens are more likely to obey and follow through with rules that they understand and can discuss with their parents.
Set limits for their privileges and behaviour and clearly explain the consequences of breaking the rules.
When discussing the dangers of drugs, emphasize the immediate consequences, keeping in mind their developmental stage. Younger teens tend to think in terms of today, tomorrow and the next day. It is not until later in adolescence that teens begin to contemplate how their actions could impact their lives in the future. Teens are also at a stage of thinking that they are invincible.
Certain groups of teens may be more likely to use drugs than others. Those who have friends who use drugs are more likely to try drugs themselves. Those feeling socially isolated for whatever reason may turn to drugs. It is important to know your child’s friends – and their parents. Be involved in their lives. Recognize when they are going through difficult times so that you can provide the support they need or seek additional care if it’s needed.
An open family environment where teens are encouraged to talk about their feelings, where their accomplishments are praised, and where their self-esteem is bolstered, encourages them to come forward with questions and concerns.
Make talking about drugs a part of your general health and safety conversations with your child. Parents are role models for their children, so your views and use of alcohol, tobacco and drugs can strongly influence the views of your child.
• Dr Asha Pemberton-Gaskin is a local pediatrician who specializes in adolescent medicine.
