Saturday, April 20, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Afraid what DNA test may reveal


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Dear Christine,
I have seen the advice you give to others and I am hoping you can help me.
I am not from your country but I am sure people from all walks of life could easily find themselves in my predicament.
Right now my heart is pounding and I’m at wits’ end. This situation is difficult to explain, so please advise me on how to handle an extremely delicate situation.
My husband has it in his head to do genetic testing for “genealogy” purposes. It isn’t cheap. One of the places he wants testing from charges a couple of hundred dollars. He has asked me to have it done too. I told him I wasn’t interested and I thought it was too expensive.
Now he wants to have our 17-year-old son tested. I have argued that our son should not have his DNA on record anywhere. That needs both parents to give consent, and it costs too much.
The horror I really have is that 18 years ago, I made an awful mistake. In fact, I don’t know if my husband is the father of our son. I’m having panic attacks about his finding out how awful I was 18 years ago.
Can you think of any other reasons I can give for not having him tested so I can convince my husband to drop the idea? Please don’t reveal where we live.
– P.C.
Dear P.C.,
You’ve found yourself in a real tangled web and that happens when we set out to deceive.
Although you have my sympathy, you seem to be suggesting that I lie.I cannot do that. I cannot come up with a reason why your son should not be tested because there are reasons why everyone should be – particularly before having children.
It would appear to me that your husband already has his suspicions about whether he fathered the boy. That’s why he’s determined to have him tested.
If I were you, I’d take a few deep breaths and come clean before things get uglier. That’s the best advice I can offer because confession is good for the soul.


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