So many evil thoughts are coming into my mind right now that I thought it best to call and spell out my feelings.
I don’t need advice. I don’t need your pity either. I just want someone to listen to me and try to feel the pain that I have been going through for the last couple of weeks.
I will try my best not to say anything hateful, though that is just how I feel right now. But when you hear my story you would understand.
I was involved with a man for nearly 27 months and we lived together for about 20 of them. The relationship ended abruptly nine days ago when my doctor told me that the burning, itching and discharge I was getting was due to contracting a sexually transmitted infection called trichomoniasis.
As I only have sex with my boyfriend it was clear to me who I got this thing from. He obviously horned me and did not even have the common sense to use a condom to protect himself.
But what ticked me off even more than getting the infection was his denial. The man looked me straight in the eye and said he didn’t know how I could get something like that as he had been faithful. Then he accused me of involvement with somebody else in a feeble attempt to hide his guilt by blaming me.
That was when I lost my head and charged at him. I would admit I picked up a small table lamp and threw at his head too. I was angry and I reacted to his lies.
How dare he accuse me of having a man on him? I loved him. I worshipped him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. How could he even think to say such a thing about me!
I supported this man for nearly five months when he was not working last year. I paid the bills and put money in his pocket as the Unemployment Benefit was not sufficient for him to support his daughter on. And when he finally got a job, we again started sharing the bills as usual and I never once asked him back for a cent.
I did all of that because I loved him and believed I should stand by my man through thick or thin. Yet he could look at me and say I had a man?! That is why I am so angry.
So we had a big fight. A lot of things were smashed, both of us got cuts, and both of us made threats. It was not pretty. Anyway, he moved out and now I am on my own.
I should be grateful that this happened now for me to see the animal I was really living with and that he was not the man I am looking for.
What hurts me deeply though is that after loving this man and sharing my most intimate feelings with him that he not only betrayed me, but also suggested I was unfaithful to him. He knows that he was my first real lover even though I was 24 when we got together. He knows too that I always wanted the first person I loved to be the only person I would have in my life. Yet this is what he did to me.
I hate him. I hope he has a miserable life, and I wish nothing good ever comes of whatever he does. I will never forgive him for deceiving me and trampling my feelings. To hell with him!