Thursday, April 18, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Boyfriend a puzzle to me


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Dear Christine,
THIS IS MONTHS now that I have been trying to get the courage to write to you.
My boyfriend and I live together and I try all I can to make him happy. I do not think there is anything in this world I would not do for him.
He tells me he does not want any women because he has nothing to offer them. Yet, the moment I turn my back, he is always with women.
I am not saying thathe should not have female friends, but these women are not friends. They are women he runs around with.
If the two of us have a little quarrel, he gets in the door and shouts to the top of his voice, telling me to leave as he does not want me. If I ask him why he has to shout like that, he says he does not have anything to hide.
When the neighbours hear him they drop all kinds of remarks to me when I pass by. He would walk about and tell everybody he meets on the road that he told me a million times to leave but I would not leave.
He claims I am too young for him. He is 36 and I am 19. Yet, one day when I was at work, he brought a 17-year-old girl to the house and still he is telling me I am too young for him.
There is a woman who has a child by him and anything that she wants to know about me he is willing to tell her. He is always giving her satisfaction.
If I so much as ask him about a woman, he tells me he is going to the police so they can come and put me out. He also says he is going to leave the house and let me stay in it by myself.
Do you think asking him a question is reason enough for him to tell me that he is going to call the police for me?
Christine, I do not know why he does and say such things to me. I don’t deserve this kind of treatment! I am not a bad person and I do not run around.
Why can’t he see that all I want to do is talk to him and for him to talk to me? What I really mean is, when I hear things about him and other women, all he has to do is answer when I ask him and tell the truth instead of shouting for the neighbours to hear or saying he is going to call the police. Christine, what do you think?
– S.L.P.
Dear S.L.P.,
This is what I think: I believe that you should get out of this man’s house because he does not want you around and he does not want you in his life.
He has told you so repeatedly, but you are not listening. In fact, you stated that you would like for him to talk to you and for you to talk to him. The truth is, he is  talking to you but you are not hearing because he is not telling you the things you want to hear.
This man is not prepared to tell you the truth about these other women, so it makes no sense pestering him, only to be humiliated and insulted.
It is not easy to pull yourself away from someone you care about but it is not impossible.
You seem to be a good person and you honestly do deserve a better deal than what he is offering. You are also a young woman and you will find someone perhaps closer to your age who will love and respect you.
Take my advice, and get out of this man’s house as soon as you can.


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