Nicole Atkins watched helplessly as her strong-willed, independent mother Desiree Goddard became crippled by Alzheimer’s disease.
It was the same disease which had ravaged her mother before her, and Desiree was scared.
“It was always a [thought] of ‘what if?’ But when she realised that she was going down that path she was very fearful and in a bit of denial,” 40-year-old Nicole began.
“I was the one who really recognised that something was wrong . . . . She would get very angry and would make irrational decisions, like constantly moving . . .
“One of the clear signs was when she made the decision to move from a three-bedroom apartment to a one-bedroom place . . . and did not consult us. She would forget things and overstock [items] . . . She knew it was happening. She didn’t want to take the medication because of the price and that decision was not a good one.”
Nicole and her younger sister Georgette Green decided to place their mother in the care of a nursing home six years ago, after their mother suffered a minor stroke. However, Nicole found the carers lacking. She recalled a lack of patience in dealing with her mother’s aggression, a by-product of Alzheimer’s.
“. . . The care that I wanted for her she was not getting: emotionally, spiritually and [with] extreme attention to detail. At that stage in life, you need to be comfortable to prolong your life.”
So when the offshore company Nicole was working for decided to move its operation in 2012, the mother of three made the choice to start her own nursing home. Through months of research and assistance from the Barbados Investment and Development Corporation and the local Alzheimer’s Association, she opened in January 2013.
The sales and marketing exec named it after what she wanted for her mother: Supreme Comfort and Retirement Care, now located in St Thomas.
“We cater to everyone, but because of her I have developed a passion for clients with Alzheimer’s, as well as their families because they need understanding and care as well and I am able to give my own experience.”
Nicole revealed that while the aggression has subsided, her mother’s Alzheimer’s had reached the stage where she no longer recognised her children. However, both she and Georgette have found ways to cope.
“The disease has put a strain on our relationship but once I’m around she is still a happy person. I connect with hugging and touch to show care. Right now I am just there for her and my sister is the same.”
The thought that she may not escape the fate of her mother and grandmother looms in Nicole’s mind.
“If I said [I don’t think about it] I would be lying but I don’t have the feeling of fear. But I want to be prepared,” she said.
“We all have to go at some point and if that is how it is supposed to be then that’s how it will be. God willing, one of my boys will take over my business and I will be happy and comfortable. Whatever avenue I am supposed to go, I hope I will be in my own facility run by my children or someone else.”
She enjoys a strong relationship with her eldest son, who is 22 and the father to her first grandchild, and her 20-year-old twin boys.
“I always encourage them to work hard, [with] God being a part of their lives. I am the same with my children the way [my mother] was with me, but we are little closer,” she said.
