Dear Christine,
I went against my family’s advice three years ago and moved in with my boyfriend. Since that time we had a daughter.
The big problem is that only about one year after we started living together, I discovered his gambling habit. At first we used to share everything but now I have to pay for most things, including utility bills, and we both work.
If I want to get some money from him to help out in the home, I have to go to his workplace on pay day before he “hits the road”. If I fail to do this, his money is gambled and drunk away before he gets home.
Sometimes he wins; but he seldom gives me any of that money as he keeps trying for bigger winnings.
I would like to throw him out, but as little as it is, the money I have to go after him for helps a bit.
My mother is ready to take me back home, as she is very fond of our grandson. What should I do?
– B.B.
Dear B.B.,
If you are unhappy with the lack of any signs on his part to change, you might just as well put him down as a loss, return home and perhaps save some of your hard-earned money.
As it is right now, I do not see how the little money he gives you can make up for the other things he costs you in terms of worry, lack of security, and the constant pressure that most definitely exists with your trying to get him to cut out his gambling and drinking.
That’s not all! You have your job, home and child to consider. It seems like too much and you must get him to face up to the fact that there is need for a change.
If there is anything good left in the partnership, emotionally speaking, and he is willing to take on his responsibilities to you, the home and the child, then it would be worth hanging on.
However, I don’t see that picture before me. Unless you too are a gambler and you’re hoping for a winning streak to come your way, the fact is he is irresponsible.
Go on home if that option offers you and your daughter a better way of life.
– CHRISTINE